To give some background to this dream as all of it is based around my childhood: I went to Catholic school for fifteen years. The time period for this dream was during my last year of grade school. My grade school believed in corporal punishment and any student that misbehaved was paddled. My 8th grade teacher, Sr. Anne, was the main focus of this dream. Throughout the school Sr. Anne had a reputation for being a very scary teacher. Prior to starting her class I was very nervous and scared. However, I actually got along well with her. She was a phenomenal teacher and I had a great deal of respect for her by the end of the school year.

The Dream: We'd just returned to school from a three week Christmas break. However, it was actually spring and the last of the snow had just melted. I'd gone to the cloak room to hang up my jacket and noticed my classmates talking with each other but I didn't socialize with any them. I felt like an outsider with them and was very uncomfortable being around them so I didn't speak and walked out the opposite end of the area so I wouldn't pass them, even though going that route meant it would take longer to get to my desk. As I was passing the teacher's podium, I noticed there was a book in my hand. It was a thin paperback book and unfortunately I cannot recall the title. Before I could reach my desk which was at the front of the class, Sr. Anne stopped me and asked what books I'd read over the break. I felt caught off guard as I didn't know we were actually supposed to do any assignments over the three weeks. Almost immediately after I had that thought, I remembered we had been given a list of seven books before school let out. Out of the seven we were required to read five. One of those books had been the one I was holding in my hand. Thinking I could get out of this somehow I said "I read the Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare". I figured if we actually had to discuss something, I could talk about that play easily since I'd read it in the past. At that moment I realized my adult mind was in my 13 year old body.

Sr. Anne got a very serious look on her face that made me freeze and actually terrified me. In a cold voice she said, "Please tell me you are joking." I lied and said yes and raised the book I had in my hand and told her I'd read this book along with four others on the list. I knew if I told her the truth I would be in trouble and get paddled. Her face relaxed she replied ok and returned to doing what she was working in prior to stopping me.

As I rushed to my desk, I thought to myself I have to read this book fast. I checked the table of contents and saw that It was only six chapters. I thought this would be a cake walk. If I could read the Merchant of Venice, this book I could finish in a snap. I opened the book but couldn't get past the first page. I kept getting distracted by the other students. Class had started and many of my classmates were speaking with the teacher about their holiday. The more distracted I became the more terrified I was getting and I had to hurry and finish this book before we started discussing this book. I became so apprehensive that I felt sick to my stomach. I just knew I was going to get caught lying and get paddled. I just wanted to get out of the situation and kept telling myself 'You have to get out of here. You have to get out of here." It was at that moment I woke up.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 39/F Chicago, IL

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes 2011

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Sophia,
Please submit the Dream Submission Form so I can provide a comprehensive analysis of your dream.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

Sophia,
I received your Dream Submission Form and will analyze your dream Thursday.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

Sophia,
I received your Dream Submission Form and should be able to work on your dream on Friday.

A quick analysis {I will provide a thorough analysis Friday}. The dream language of being an adult in a 13 year old body may suggest that period of time is a primary focus of the dream. The book name you quoted may also provide some clues {about a merchant in 16th-century Venice must default on a large loan provided by an abused Jewish moneylender}. The part that may be relevant would likely be the abuse/physical and or psychological application}.

The dream does begin with an end to one aspect and a possible beginning of something new/positive {last of snow/beginning of spring}. The info related to the book may point to learning something that you have not prepared for or studied {given thought to}. The ear of being paddled may point to inner fears of punishment, possible punishing yourself for something you did not do but instead something someone else did to you {self blame is common when a young person is abused}. Not getting past the first page of the book and being distracted by other students {in one aspect related to actual experiences, on a deeper level symbolic of being distracted by other aspects of your life}. There does seem to be something you are afraid to 'read' about yourself {the books would be associated with aspects of yourself}. The fear of punishment again enters into the equation. There is something that needs to be gotten out {I just wanted to get out of the situation and kept telling myself 'You have to get out of here. You have to get out of here."}.

As for the age of 13. In the dream you are an adult in a 13 year old body. In your submission form at the age of 13 you experienced a change in your attitude. Look back at that time frame and delve deep to see if you can remember more. Is there something you have pushed back into your unconscious/repressed/forgotten? The teacher could very well be an inner aspect that will teach you what these things might be. The anxieties related to a 'lie' {lying to yourself} could be the primary focus of the dream. Give some deep, serious thought to when you were 13.

Note: I did go back and look at your posted dream in 2011. That dream goes back to earlier formative years and may suggest attitudes you have toward men {not having a father after age 6}. What is your attitude toward relationships now? If the formative years had negative influences early in life perhaps this dream is expanding on those attitudes by pointing to experiences when you were 13. Were there any experiences at that age with males that may be relevant?

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

Thank you for your reply.

To answer your question about relationships, I don't really allow men to get very close to me emotionally. I am very guarded and don't maintain relationships for longer than three months. After that initial getting to know you phase, the newness and excitement wears off for me and I end things or force an ending in order to move on to the next "new" relationship. The longest relationship I did have was 2 years. It was a good relationship but I wasn't in love with that person. I'd even resigned myself to the prospect of being married to him and and having a good marriage based on friendship. However, I moved to a different state for work and as with most long distance relationships, it didn't last long after my move. I wasn't overly upset. I was very sad that I lost a very good friend. In fact, I didn't even cry about it. Maybe a couple of months later I started dating someone else. That person turned out to be abusive so I got out of it. Since then I have avoided any real relationship aside from occasionally going out to dinner or drinks.

As for the significance of the age of 13, I had to really think about this. I realized that this was during the time that I was learning to close myself off to the outside world. I was different from my classmates and friends. I liked classical music, I read books, I used so-called "big words" and they just didn't get me. Because I was different, I was bullied a-lot. I started to realize I couldn't let everyone in. This belief because more solidified by the time high school was over. It's a practice I adhere to with everyone, including my family.

Hope this helps!

Thanks again,
S

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 39/F Chicago, IL

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} 10/31/16

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Sophia,
The two probably have much to do with each other {short relationships/cutting yourself off from people at age 13}. I sensed the relationship conflict. The fear of punishment in some way likely goes to deeper emotions from early childhood where the experiences carried over to how you feel about men. Coming from a single parent home and being raised by women is the model you know {from childhood} and because of those experiences you unconsciously if consciously have follow in that pattern. It is common to do this since the young psyche is most influenced by experiences from early childhood {the first 3 years in childhood development are the most important with personality being set by age nine}. What you learn in the first years is the pattern you most likely will follow through life. Just how it does develop depends on other aspect of life including DNA but we do know the childhood model is true.

The thing about dreams is they do have a way of stating these facts through symbolic imagery. Being 13 in an adult body suggests there are emotional energies from age 13 that still affect your adult life. If you look even deeper to why you withdrew from interactions with other people at age 13 you will probably discover reasons related to earlier life that caused you to do so. The bullying played a role but why a child/person is bullied is likely dependent in some way to personality {a withdrawn child would likely be bullied more so than someone who is open and spontaneous}. Getting to the foundations of personality is important because it will allow you to understand the unconscious energies that control your life {throughout life until the issues are resolved}. Your dream is trying to inform you to these energies so you can resolve the issues to do with relationships. Understanding why you felt different in school will help you understand why those energies still affect you as an adult. Having had an abusive relationship as an adult doesn't help {the question may be why you chose that person to have a relationship to begin with}. It is psychological and may have been unconsciously driven.

I could go into the detail and fit the images/actions with what I know about your life but I think we have discovered the primary message of the dream. The questions is are there any forgotten/repressed experiences of abuse during childhood that need to be realized? Not necessarily sexual abuse but psychological. Bullying is psychological as well as physical. The experiences at age 13 as well as when you were in the 8th grade standout {one from the dream, the other from your submission form}. Examine those years and see if you find anything relevant to why you have problems in relationships as well as other aspects in your life.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes