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church seating

I was in a cozy church setting. There was a male from my past who I don't get along with seated somewhere behind me. Then, he was sitting at the front of the church or in front of me looking at me and talking or joking around with me like a friend. Somehow, a male friend who was friends with me in the present appeared where he was (or he replaced this other male in the front) and was joking around with me. In the dream, this person was a current male friend, but he isn't an actual person I know of). That's my dream.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: female, 30s

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: church seating

I'll provide additional comment on your dream Sunday when I will have more time to analyze the amplified images {which I have posted below}. All dreams have at least two applications/meanings and I am getting mixed messages to which is which {one being an underlying motivating energy developed earlier in life/another experiences with actual males}. The dream title {which often provides clues to the dream message} seems to be addressing your value system and in the dream there seems to be changes made/being made to certain attitudes {yours}. It may be how you felt about masculine attitudes/aspects in the past is changing/has changed. Have you made changes in a relationship with a male to one where a new male is more in line with what you feel more suitable? Someone {male} who did not take you serious replaced by someone who does.

Or it could be past attitudes developed early in life {possibly related to attitudes you hold sacred/value} that has changed/is changing. You may recognize something in the amplified images that you can fit in your life.

Amplified Images/Actions
-church seating
---church-value system

-cozy church setting-secure attitude related to value system
-male from past-assertive/aggressive emotional energies related to past experiences
-didn't get along-negative experiences not acceptable to developed attitudes
-seated somewhere behind me-unconscious aspects that support the principles you should live by.
-he was sitting at front of the church-assertive aspects coming to forefront
-front of me-conscious ego self
-looking at me-examining self
-talking or joking around with me-not being taken serious
-like a friend-incorporated positive aspects
-male friend who was friend-positive masculine aspect
-in the present-present attitude
-appeared where he was-shared emerging attitudes
-he replaced other male in the front-making conscious changes in masculine attitudes
-was joking around with me-not taking you serious
-person was current male friend-current masculine aspects
-isn't an actual person I know of-aspects/attitudes you are not aware of/were not aware of


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67 Cocoa, Fla

Re: church seating

The same day that I had this dream I was thinking about the male in my dream. He has a very aggressive personality so perhaps my assertiveness came out that day when I mentally said goodbye to him or his unacceptable/disrepectful behavior toward me. He never took my feelings seriously and laughed behind my back.

Re: church seating

That could be a personal experience the dream is addressing. As I stated I can only provide an outline of the emotional energies and seldom personal aspects. Your response would be included in the outline of energies. Your assertive response would be in response to his aggressive personality which could mirror a male or males who displayed the same characteristics in your early life {possibly your father}. Your personality and personal attitudes would be built around those early life experiences, a need to be assertive because of aggressive male experiences. He didn't take your feelings seriously. Did your father, or some other 'important' male in early life {earlier life/earlier life experiences}. Your need to be taken seriously is a 'scared' thing for you in life and when this is not done your response is assertive. A response developed early in life {as we all have, the foundations set in early life}. Respect is MOST important for you because you lacked that as a child.

As for the shared attitudes. The recent experience with the aggressive male is 'shared' in childhood experiences with the same type male{s}. These developed attitudes that you automatically respond to with assertiveness are because of those childhood experiences. Being assertive can be a positive thing in certain situations, not so much in others.


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67 Cocoa, Fla

Re: church seating

My father didn't care about my feelings and wasn't respectful towards women. I've wondered if that's why I attracted this male or the worst offender toward me. Did you mean my need to be taken seriously is a "sacred" thing instead of "scared" thing for me? I don't know if my dream is focusing more on my response not being assertive enough in the past to allow such behavior to even happen. I think my problem has been due to a lack of assertiveness at first, but at times my response has been strong defensiveness when he did something really out of line. Other than that, he has walked all over me so it's best to ignore him forever. I think being assertive with this particular male is positive in this situation or is that what my dream is implying?

Re: church seating

Out of curiousity, I tried a free online astrology compatibility calculator with this male birthdate and my birthdate. I realize that he may have several of these astrological aspects in common with other women as well. I didn't think my assertiveness or father played a strong role until I read our compatibility analysis. What it comes down to is he's a cotnrolling person and I wouldn't let him control me. I suppose other women would let him control them? Am I that different for not wanting to be controlled? I was amazed by the sentence "His real struggle and subconscious reason, why he basically came into this relationship, is to learn how to effectively control himself." I think my main issue with him has been his uncontrollable behavior which I wanted to control instead of him controlling me.

Here's some information from the analysis. What's your opinion on it?

The woman does not play her feminine role and she is overly assertive. However, every action has an equal reaction. As a result, the more assertive the woman is the more assertively the man pushes in the opposite direction. The woman sees that she is too enmeshed in the male ego and she may eventually feel that she needs to make too many sacrifices in order to maintain the relationship.

This aspect suggests that the man and woman exchanged their male and female roles on a subconscious level. The woman often tries to find herself through the male energy expressed by her partner, but she is not aware of his masculinity. And conversely, the man sees everything he ever wanted to be in the woman, but he is not aware of her femininity. Instead, he feels his own feminine side. The woman is able to get over her conflict with her father. The man continues to search for his male role.

Rivalry, overflowing energy and a battle of egos - these are the characteristics of this aspect. The male ego rules while the woman often has to succumb to his will. Their sexual life lacks tenderness and it may be more a manifestation of the subconscious desire to overcome a challenge than an expression of love. In this relationship the man sees the woman as a "challenge". He may want to influence the development of her femininity and sexuality.

Both partners experience roles permutation because while they are trying to establish contact with each other, they tend to act as their partner. Thus their subconscious needs are disclosed. The man, who is trying to identify himself with energetic nature through the woman must face his own passivity. As he sees that his softness attracts her, it can be difficult for him to understand that she is trying to achieve her own femininity through him.

With this difficult karmic aspect a woman may unconsciously try to overshadow the image of her father that shaped her life. She regards a man as a symbolic bounding authority figure, which she should outperform if going to find herself. He, in turn, tries to ground the relationship, making it real and responsible. Complex problems and frustrations caused by the feeling of the woman that she is deprived of the opportunity to experience a full acceptance. As a result, obstacles and limitations are possible, and she can overcome them only when recognizes the full force of her "I". She must protect the dignity of a man (even if his ideas are contrary to her views), before she can fully understand her own strength.

Both of them think differently. He will try to change her opinions and she will not like this. She will not like that he is unpredictable and irresponsible.

The woman explores her role because she faces the feminine side of the man. When she explores the relationship (both from his and her point of view), she tries to take the female lead, which is demonstrated to her. In fact, she asks the man to teach her to love, but with this aspect she can understand love only at her intellectual level.

The woman's intelligence may feel threatened by the aggressive behavior of the man. She is aware of his sexuality and she tries to understand his aggression or find out what causes it. As a result, it is difficult for the woman to share her feelings. The way she thinks makes the man angry. He wants her to be more docile because he feels threatened by her intelligent reactions. However, this aspect can help the woman grow and it helps the man to re-evaluate his values.

With this karmic aspect, a man sees a repeat of his youth in the impulsive nature of a woman. Acting in the tradition of his father, he wants to control her ego. At the same time, she unconsciously identifies herself with his youth. His real struggle and subconscious reason, why he basically came into this relationship, is to learn how to effectively control himself. When he learns this, the partnership will be filled with meaning and purpose.

Although he is attracted by the woman, he can not really trust what he can not understand.

Any reckless behavior can lead to a crisis. When it happens, you will have to face some moral dilemma. He will try to crush her opinions and she will try to stand her ground because of her ethical or religious views. This interaction tends to bring to the surface some deep or taboo problem that may concern law or sex.

Re: church seating

I'll respond to this post and the respond to you last reply in another post. I do appreciate your willing to share your experiences since it helps demonstrate the connect of the dream energies to your actual life experiences.

You were attracted to this offending male partly if not wholly because of the unconscious energies related to your relationship with your father. Foundations in life {what you learn and experience as a child} become motivators for personal attitudes/traits/ and even actions in later life. The psyche has a way of making choices based on these foundational experiences. With the limited knowledge of your life {age and gender} I can only provide an outline of the emotional energies illustrated by the symbols/images and actions in your dream. With the additional info you provided in your responses I can connect the dream energies with actual life experiences.

As for being assertive. Yes, you are compensating for the experiences with your father. It is a positive sign as long as you don't become over assertive, over compensate which could become a negative in certain situations. Recognizing the controlling aspect in this relationship is good for your personal growth and may help with choosing future relationships {as long as you don't over compensate}. This guy is 'your father' in the controlling aspects and the dream is attempting to point this out. The really good decision you made was to post your dream for analysis so this could be point to and for you to realize {providing this service and having the dreamer realize the connections is my reward}.

Looking at your response in your last response may point to aspects of over compensation. "I think my main issue with him has been his uncontrollable behavior which I wanted to control instead of him controlling me." This could pose problems if not realized and corrected. The unconscious energies to be controlling is another aspect you 'learned' in early life from your father.

As for scared and scared. You may be scared to confront your controlling father but as a motivating energy in your psyche it is a sacred, most important thing to not let that happen in your adult life.


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67 Cocoa, Fla

Re: church seating

Wow, this is a real eye opener. Now, I realize why I have felt more like myself or at ease with gentler men or men who have a little more feminine energy. This is the type of man who would be good for me? A better word than controlling his uncontrollable behavior would be to stop it, but I see that as a good thing because his uncontrollable behavior is abusive.

Yes, I've always been afraid to confront my father because it would cause him to get more out of control if I did. I guess this male also lost control over little things.

I haven't had to personally deal with another male as aggressive as this male who was in my dream. I didn't understand what attracted to me to him in the first place so this dream analysis helped me to understand it better. I guess I'll just avoid his type in the future. Thanks!

Re: church seating

I don't subscribe to 'wholly' in astrological analysis. But I don't totally dismiss it as a possibility. There are aspects in astrology that are relevant but the overall application is as much pseudo science at best. Read this page to understand one of the major problems with astrology
Astrology: Why Your Zodiac Sign and Horoscope Are Wrong. Here is a passage from the page that illustrates the problem.

"For instance, those born between March 21 and April 19 consider themselves to be Aries. Today, the sun is no longer within the constellation of Aries during much of that period. From March 11 to April 18, the sun is actually in the constellation of Pisces!'

The Zodiac was established around 2000 years ago. Since then the Zodiac has shifted one sign along, however the traditional dates for each sign haven't changed. i.e. The Zodiac sign that you were born "under" is meant to be the constellation that the sun was in front-of during your birth. So if you are a Gemini, the chances are that Cancer was actually behind the sun during your birth (due to the 2000 year shift in the Zodiac).

Unless the new astronomical constellations of the Zodiac are considered a rendering of a sign would be off. But even if included it would be the inner associations that would need to be included to have meaning. By tapping into this inner meaning, it forces the mind to think in a different way. That what dream analysis does and Jungian dream psychology is a true science. But even Jung explored the occult and astrology. His explanation of when astrology makes accurate news predictions, sometimes to the exact day, sometimes years before they happen? Synchronicity!. Astrological prediction is synchronicity. It’s a law of nature. The law of synchronicity can also tell you about the present. It can explain the meaning behind things. Synchronicity uses symbols. Where astrology works it is in the symbols. Just as with dreams. But it is in the interpretation that makes the difference. If I knew the source you used I could better determine if there is real credibility to its interpretation. If you are interested in how to properly apply astrology I suggest reading Jung on Astrology. This how Jung explained his use of astrology:

"Since you want to know my opinion about astrology I can tell you that I've been interested in this particular activity of the human mind since more than 30 years. As I am a psychologist, I am chiefly interested in the particular light the horoscope sheds on certain complications in the character. In cases of difficult psychological diagnosis I usually get a horoscope in order to have a further point of view from an entirely different angle. I must say that I very often found that the astrological data elucidated certain points which I otherwise would have been unable to understand. From such experiences I formed the opinion that astrology is of particular interest to the psychologist, since it contains a sort of psychological experience which we call 'projected' - this means that we find the psychological facts as it were in the constellations."

WHat I see in the 'analyzation' by the astrological author you used is too inclusive as is the problem with astrology. It can give a general observation and get close in many aspects but getting to the source of the emotional energies is lacking. Dreams get to the source, individual source. The Collective is a psyche event whereas the astrological uses a universal approach, combining everyone in one descriptive narrative. Perhaps the best way to illustrate this point is the tale of a teacher giving his students their astrological reading and asking them if it fit. Almost all said it applied, it did fit. Come to find out he gave all the same reading. In other words it was subjective, you can provide details about that do fit {universal} but the individual experience is, individual.

Having said that I do believe a great many images in dreams are 'universal'. A house is you the dreamer. The car is you. This is contrary to what is believed with most who analyze dreams. Or in more precise terms what was believed. This is why I am putting together pages on How to Interpret Your Dreams using A Dream Dictionary {but not just any dictionary}. I have found in my analysis of dreams at the Dream Forum you can use these Jungian based dictionaries to properly analyze dreams. I hope to get feedback from those who use these pages to truly determine if I am correct in my assumptions. You should try this self analysis and see how it works for you. Discard the astrological approach and use this Jungian approach. You can see from my analysis of your short dream how well it can get to the true emotions and why you are the person you are in relationships {childhood experiences with your father}. Jung was a scientist {psychiatrist}. He studied astrology as well but his concepts are based on the scientific study of dreams. Objective observation and not just subjective.

Note. The pages on interpreting your own dreams are still being designed and are almost complete. There is enough info you help you with your dreams but is I will design more pages so people can use their Iphones, smart phones as well as tablets to access the pages.


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67 Cocoa, Fla

Re: church seating

Based on the information in the article my sun sign is the preceding sun sign, but I feel my personality amatches the sun sign I've known. I have a few friends with the sun sign and we have acknowledged that we probably get along so well because of this sun sign we have in common. I mean we don't seem to have issues in our relationships that we may have with other people.

I tried anaylizing my astrology compatibility with a few other males. Surprisingly, many of th astrological aspects were different than they were with this agressive male so I guess it varies by the match or doesn't stay the same.

Re: church seating

Your statement, "Surprisingly, many of the astrological aspects were different than they were with this aggressive male so I guess it varies by the match or doesn't stay the same."

Not so surprising if you consider what I stated about astrology being general in its applications. remember the teacher who gave his students their supposedly personal horoscopes and got a reaction that yes, they fit. He had given everyone the same horoscope. In general they will fit but so does a one size fits all.


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67 Cocoa, Fla

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