The guy I was dating is not narcissistic, I was speaking of my father. He's not very similar to my father. He just like overly business oriented. Maybe selfish was the wrong word, he probably doesn't take care of himself enough. He is health conscious, but really all he does is work, more than anyone I've ever met. He owns businesses, so his life is just kind of unpredictable. He doesn't really make time for me or himself. but he is way more helpful and considerate than my father and like understand of where I am coming from. and i don't feel like my opinions are stifled. He is a much better listener and will try to help more in areas I care about as well, where my actual father would probably just try to redirect what I was doing all together. They're similar in that they're both way more practical than I am and better at real world stuff. I can be pretty..ungrounded and naive sometimes. but i would say he actually cares about and finds interest in my viewpoint, and my father does not and wouldn't even want to hear it.

And I wouldn't say I was being forced to go along with stuff I wouldn't agree with in my relationship, I just get mad that he can't make more time really.

and no we've met before. I used to live in the area he still lives in and run his businesses from, but I moved away and then we were just never really able to cut ties. We dated irl first lol. I just don't have a real reason to visit that area besides to see him even though my family is there. I don't like staying with them in particular or other people and there really aren't hotels there so he would actually have to take off work and is unable to. and no we made up now LOL.

and no i disagree with the sex thing. for being in a long distance relationship, we have a very active sex life lol. and i definitely wouldn't say I've given up control of my body, really in any way.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24, F, Denver

Hi Jerry,

I appreciate your responses as well!

It's interesting you noticed that I capitalized the O, I actually noticed that also, but it made me think more of like religion and like Him and His and God being capitalized. God, the Father lol. What do you think about that? and then the fact that 3 is brought up, One of three. Seems like religious comparisons and then the priest also. I'm not sure what to make of it though.

Aside deciding to leave my current relationship and find a new one, I also decided to consciously work on bringing my masculine and feminine side into balance, but I have to do and have been doing a lot of research, because I need to figure out where I am at as far as development goes on both sides and also figure out what I'm doing, because I don't know exactly if I'm being honest. So i could see the dream fitting to that also.

As far as avoidance, I would actually avoid him. He would get mad if I didn't say hello to him when he got home, but when he was home for the most part I tried my best to stay in my room, and usually wait til he went to bed to eat to avoid conflict. Which is interesting because I actually don't often leave my apartment, especially in the winter. I don't like the cold. I wonder if that relates to that. I leave like once or twice a week, if I have to. I don't think anything in his life caused him to be that way, he really is just an ******* to everyone. He's very narcissistic has pretty obvious like alpha problems. He loves to show off. If people don't suck up to him, he doesn't like them. He has ego problems, does things to appear nice like he has everything and buys stuff to fill whatever voids he has. He has a good life like on the outside, but everyone hates him. All his biological children, my mom, lol. He's just a selfish person.

I smoked marijuana from ages 17-24 very heavily. I actually just quit a couple months ago, that was definitely emotional avoidance.

I can't think of ways I avoided emotional pain when I was younger, maybe reading escaping to my little lala land I lived in. I do typically avoid conflict and not talk about my emotions, but when I was younger, i wasn't really allowed to have an opinion of any kind, not that I didn't I just learned to keep it to myself or I would be forced to go along with stuff I probably didn't agree with.

I probably should be more upset than I am now though considering I just ended about a year long relationship. I prefer not to wallow though. I cried the first day. I am obviously still upset, but I guess I am not acknowledging those feelings now.

I didn't cry at all the last relationship I ended.

But I was used to having a rough home life and then having to go to school and pretend like everything was fine, so I guess I couldn't really be upset. If I was crying in public over family conflict, my parents would always say "Shut up and pretend your happy," so I guess maybe that stuck with me LOL.

Also, I kinda ghosted the guy I was dating. It was a long distance relationship, but I actually wanted to try to make things work, I kept like breaking up with him though, and I don't think we were ever going to see each other mostly because of him. He owns business and pretty much wouldn't make time for me, but could text me all the time. So I basically broke up with him, told him we could just be friends, and I really don't intend to ever speak to him again. I just feel like he could have tried harder and wasn't going to. I'm actually pretty mad at him, because last time I dumped him he said he wanted to be with me and work stuff out, but I don't think he ever really intended to. He's a really selfish person as well.

I was thinking the protection/iud of the dream is basically me not talking to my ex because if I speak to him, maybe we will make up and get back together and if that happens I can't move on and find a new relationship like I plan to do eventually. But I had the baby already anyway in the dream.

the one I have also is called paragard,
"para" meaning "at or to one side of, beside, side by side”
"gard" meaning "an obsolete form of guard"
which makes me again think it is not an obstacle, because I had the baby and also the name kind of reinforces protection/guarding.

I think it would be an obstacle if I had a dream where I was unable to get pregnant.

Again I'm pretty sure the idea/ baby is a new relationship with somebody else. if the baby/idea is also balancing my masculine and feminine, I'm not sure what the iud would represent or what I would need to protect it from.

Thanks again Jerry!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24, F, Denver

I am reading this book also to further go into capitalization of one. It’s interesting, the word Oneness is capitalized here. I’ve read this before, recently, but I will quote:

“Dr. Von Franz: God will give His unique answer in each case.

Remark: I think God has already given His unique answer in each case.

Dr. Von Franz: That is where we differ. You think God has published general rules which He keeps Himself, and we think He is a living spirit appearing in a man’s psyche who can always create something new.

Remark: Within the framework of what He has already published.

Dr. Von Franz: To a theologian God is boing to His own books and is incapable of further publications. That is where we lock horns. If you raise the conflict to the realm of psychological inner detachment, then the problem of the opposites becomes clear: the Oneness becomes visible in the psychological realm and you realize your conflict is between to aspects of the psyche. “

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes I am the last post

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Not sure what is what. Seems to be contractions in some of what you have stated. Or at least not clear to me in many. No more I can say.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 68 Altoona, Fl