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Interpretation & Breakdown of Kathy's First Dream

To provide some insights on how I approach a dream, I have taken the first of three dreams posted by Kathy on March 10 and given my ideas on its meaning. This dream shows how both the personal and collective aspects of Kathy's psyche are addressed.

The Dream

I'm renovating the house Bob & I lived in. I’m looking at the area above the bathroom door. It’s falling apart, in pieces. I examine it. Pieces of white wall fall apart in my hands. I tell Bob that’s the next place to fix, showing it to him. He doesn't want to help. Tells me he’s leaving me, it’s over. We get into a big fight and he storms out, leaves me for good. I’m afraid, angry, hurt and crying.

My interpretation

Renovating your house is making needed and/or desired changes related to masculine aspects in your life. On a personal level this is the renovations you have made in your relationship with Bob. You are focusing on eliminating some emotional issues which are causing distress for you. Some of the barriers that have been in your way are coming down because of your own ability to make them do so. The masculine is what need to be fixed and you focus on that. Butthere is resistance on your part. The masculine seems have abandoned you. You feel distressed.

Even though the dream is reflective of the ended relationship with your ex Bob {even if has ben 10 years}, it is as much about your inner masculine self. And because it has been 10 years since the breakup this helps point to the inner life as muchas the waking life. Because of the failure you felt with that breakup you feel a constant need to repair those masculine abilities you know you will need in the real world. This is a natural fear although it is distressing to you.

Breaking the dream down according to the symbols

I'm renovating the house Bob & I lived in.

Renovations is pretty much straight forward symbolism addressing the changes {renovations} in Kathy's life, personally and collectively {dealing with deeper emotions and aspects}. The house is Kathy, her outer and inner life.

Bob is her masculine aspect, but also addresses her personal relationship with Bob, her ex-husband. The symbolism of the house 'we lived in the house' points to the past experiences that influence her present life. It also points to a main motif of the dream, dealing with the masculine. I dervive all of this from this one sentence. This sentence provides insights to what the dream is addressing in Kathy's life.

I’m looking at the area above the bathroom door.

The key here is the bathroom. It is a common symbol and most always represents an elimination of something in the dreamer's life. Looking at the area above the door suggests this is what she wants to do or needs to do, look at the elimination of certain aspects in her life. On the personal side it is saying something about having eliminated Bob from her life, and at the same time the need to eliminate her dependence on Bob. But reversing the role, having to fill that masculine void, she now has to find some masculine identity within herself for support. Dreams will take on both aspects of looking at a symbol. Here it is on the one hand looking at the need to eliminate the past influence of the old masculine identity {relationship with Bob} and yet on the other hand a need to fill the void of the masculine, something she needs to do not only to balance her psychic life but support her as she travels her path as a single woman.

I examine it.

This is what the dream is doing, examining this aspect in Kathy's life. Why? Because that is what dreams do. There has been much research that verifies that dreams deal with those unresolved issues of the wkaing life. Joseph Campbell once said we sleep as to dream as much as we sleep as for the rest.

Pieces of white wall fall apart in my hands.

Walls are barriers. Hands represent our abilities in life. Both are common dream symbols and even though they can represent different things they tend to stay true to the representation I mentioned.
Falling apart is addressing at least two things. One is the past relationship with Bob, and the other is the fear and distress Kathy feels due to the lack of masculine support that now has to be filled with Bob gone. She has the ability to fill this void but the fear {a normal and perhaps automatic reaction within her unconscious} is there, if not consciously then unconsciously.
Perhaps the most difficult symbolism to understand here is the 'Pieces of white'. The pieces are probably speaking to the 'pieces' of Kathy's psyche or her life, or the slowly falling pieces of the barriers that the dream is speaking to. We know the white is describing the walls {or barriers} but what exactly does white mean? If you look it up in the dream dictionary under colors you get several possibilities. Pure and innocence, peace happiness, joy. But in the East it is associated with death and mourning. I believe thsi goes to some persoanl aspect of the dreamer that is really almost impossible to analyze in words that adequately addresses its true meaning. I don't see it as having an impact to the basic motif. The best I can do is be subjective so I let it stand alone.

I tell Bob that’s the next place to fix, showing it to him.

Here Bob becomes Kathy's masculine aspect. It may address Kathy's current relationship with Bob, she is still dealing with that. But the thing that needs fixing more than the personal relationship with Bob is her own masculine self. She is talking to her masculine side {using Bob as the metaphor}. Since the relationship with Bob fell apart she naturally has concerns about her own masculine identity. Her psyche is telling her, 'Let's fix this before it also falls apart'. The dream is showing her this important necessity in her life.

He doesn't want to help.

Ahhh! Dreams can be tricky. Who is he? And why doesn't 'he' want to help if in fact the dream is pointing out the need to fix her masculine self?
I see he as her ego self, opposite of 'her' which is the intuitive inner self. Jung tells us whatever the iinner slef wants the ego self will resist. I think this is what this line is speaking to. Her opposite, and it is called opposite because it opposes what is best for the inner self and notw hat is good for the ego self, will try to influence the waking self, let the tensions play to the desires of the ego weakness. The ego is a formitable aspect of the total self and does not go away willingly. A less strong person would probably have more symbolism in their dream dealing with this ego aspect and its desire for control. But Kathy is a strong willed person and being aware of her 'heroine' path she has already began to take control away from the ego self. The masculine also seeks its own identity within the psyche, be it man or woman. Depending on the individual, it may or may not suceed in doing so.

Of course this line may also be addressing Kathy's personal aspect also. I'm sure there was resistance {and perhaps still is} on Bob's part to the breakup.

Tells me he’s leaving me, it’s over.

This probably addresse both personal and deeper aspects. The traumatic experience of ending a relationship is something that remains with us forever. I personally lost my dear friend and second wife in September of 2003. And although we had been divorced for 20 years I still have dreams that reflect that past relationship. With age the thought of saying i am leaving to someone who has been so close for so long remains painful no matter who was to blame. Especially if the parting is amicable.

On the deeper side what is leaving is the masculine security that Bob provided. Even though it has been 10 years since the breakup, the feminine psyche lives in a masculine world. And the feminine has to constantly remind itself of this and find new resources to combate the negative world towards women and the feminine psyche. Kathy's masculine psyche is reminding her of this, perhaps warning her to be on her guard, not only to utilize her own masculine identity in facing the waking world but also to be on guard against the masculine becoming a too strong of influence upon her and her actions. The feminine is where she needs to live her life with the masculine compensating the feminine. The masculine, in the psyche and in the real world of relationships, will use threat to get its way. Here is the classic war of opposites, something that has to be understood and given thought to when addressing any dream.

We get into a big fight and he storms out, leaves me for good.

This again is the war of the opposites, within and with out. And being at the end of the dream {as I assume it is by the post} I believe this is the main theme of her dream. The opposing emotions dleaing with her masculine aspects. The threat is a real one in her waking life, the fear of not having masculine support in her life. Yet the greatest fight is within her own psyche, fighting the opposing emotions she is experiencing. It leaves her afraid, angry, hurt and crying. The whole range of emotions that she feels/felt due to the need to find that masculine identity within herself for support in her waking life.

Kathy has yet to comment on my interpretation to this dream. I could very well end up with egg on my face if I am wrong about the dream. But knowing a little about Kathy's personal life and having interpreted previous dreams, this dream seems to fall in line with that. I did not look back at my previous interpretations {and refrain from doin so because I want a fresh and independent interpretation to every dream} prior to looking at this dream but I do remember some things about them.
What I have attempted to do is to show how I do look at a dream and how I see the dream functions. This is a short dream {you can see the effort that is needed to interpret even short dreams} and gives me a chance to break it down ithout having to write a book. It merely took a chapter to show how I interpreted this dream.

I may have missed something within this dream that others will see. The only person who can say yeah or nay, or add or subtract to the true message is the dreamer.

I hope this helps those who are seeking to use dreams as a source of personal growth and development. You can see how complex dreams can be. But by using Jung's philosophies on the dream and the psyche most anyone with a developed sense of intuitive awareness can look at dreams and see the message within. It will not always be clear but there will be a general sense of what the message is. And there will be dreams that will be beyond the interpreter's ability. That is when follow-ups to the interpretation play an important role in understanding the dream. The process alone is a learning experience.

All comments and questions are welcome. That is outside any bad grammar or spelling.


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 54

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Murfreesboro, Tn

Re: Interpretation & Breakdown of Kathy's First Dream

Thank you for your patience. I returned from my trip seriously sleep deprived. I attempted to work on this yesterday but still could not gather enough mental faculty to think more than ‘Yep- that’s it’.

Your interpretation is accurate.

In undertaking seeking wholeness I’m attempting an honest examination of self in relation to family and personal relationships, both past and present. It's both painfull and comforting to expose the truth about my self to my self. Bob entered the dream arena because as part of the process I was thinking/writing about our relationship. In this I brought back to surface the truths about how much I hurt him by pushing him away, how afraid I was to be solely responsible for myself and daughter (lack of masculine security) and that fear was the root of staying in the relationship years too long. I recognize that after the split I had the skills, masculine traits, necessary to care for my self and daughter. I believe this also relates to the recently ended relationship with Dave.

In working to incorporate masculine aspects and resolve past issues I’m meeting ego resistance mainly on masculine aspects while recently making real progress on resolving other issues. It is tricky as the ego in defense is mimicking intuition causing confusion & distress. Which I think is the case here. For outside perspective I asked a friend if I am too masculine. She replied she views me as a very feminine woman possessing an inner masculine strength. This morning I posed the same question to my daughter. She replied ‘In what aspect? In leadership you’re masculine and in your work, which is creative, you’re feminine.’ While I incorporate some masculine traits I have more work ahead to incorporate or assimilate those other aspects needing to break down ego defense to get there.

The white wall and white pieces of wall do represent my psyche. While ‘falling apart’ is negative in a positive light it identified an area needing work and shows I’m actively looking for what in the psyche to repair or reconstruct. Thinking the psyche must first be disassembled before being reassembled. The personal definition of white in this dream is the goal of a complete or whole psyche which I see as the pure self, thus white being the perfect balance or blending of all colors, pieces of self, combined.

From your interpretation I see allowing the masculine a larger support role of the feminine may be the most helpful in breaking thru the ego defense.

With this in mind I see both second and third dreams are related. In short without breaking it all down I recognize the many areas of conflict viewing masculine aspects as ‘alien’, being fearful of the masculine, that the masculine must play a part but if allowed too large a part will result in animal instinct being walled off, cocooned, then dying, so care must be taken. And also I don’t trust the inner masculine self due to prior external masculine reliance. The houses pulled from their foundations is a metaphor for the truth, as opposed to what I thought was the truth, in the foundation of my self and beliefs. Even though a fearful process it is productive. The white ropes and white light in the sky are personal unconscious and collective unconscious. A reminder we are all linked in the collective. And possibly those who take the challenge to develop their self facilitate their connection to the collective. In this dream ego first appears as Dave (He told me to run even after the alien man was taking him to safety) then mimics my feminine self (The confrontation where I yell no and flip the jeep) to get what it wants. Because both my father and the brown robed man ‘alien’ appeared in a prior dreams related to death I think it’s showing me the ego’s FEAR (in essence it’s death) which blocks my defeat of ego. And that over reliance on external masculinity actually resulted in my cocooning my own masculine self/animal instinct, which was felt as saddness (crying) because internally the feminine wanted to keep, develop and care for these parts of myself. Also represents the death of the façade I erected regarding my mother’s role in my life, the foundation of my beliefs regarding her and our relationship.

It was the emotional connection to death that caused the most confusion related to this dream. In both prior dreams the characters were either a comforter or guide at times of death in waking life so I immediately looked at the dream as a possible premonition of my mother’s death rather than the metaphors.

The third dreams indicates progress is being achieved with the added counsel the psyche is being slowly built in the unconscious (sitting on the floor). With careful construction it continues. Stay the path.

This is all very positive and further guides my journey.

The interpretation process information you're providing us is very helpful. It helps me to better see the dreams as the metaphors and the process in getting there.

Many thanks,

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Re: Re: Interpretation & Breakdown of Kathy's First Dream

Thanks so much for your detailed response. You are in a process that requires much strenght {a masculine quality for sure} and by your written words you have a wonderful grasp of your own journey and how to proceed.

I think you are correct in your statement about the need to let the masculine provide a more'supportive' role in overcoming the ego resistance. Often we forget how strong the ego-centered body will go to have its way. Whereas I believe that by letting the feminine aspect take the lead, we do have to let the masculine have its say in all matters of the psyche. As long as we keep the masculine sub-ordinate it will lend itself in a positive way.

And yes, it is the metaphors that ultimately define dreams. Often it is hard to determine the relationship of parents and siblings in dreams. But the metaphors are still present even when the relationship is of a personal nature. The metaphors will give clues to the personal.

Life is but a metaphor....Joseph Campbell

Thanks again your response. Another learning experience fot all of us.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Murfreesboro, Tn

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