in d dream im drivin wildy wid my mom in a car (im the passanger...its dark and foggy and scary)on my property n den my grandma n grandpa appear in dose swinging bench thingies like in one of dem deres my grandma n grandpa and in d 2nd one deres my great grandma n den like dey jus all of a sudden appear in d benches rockin n den dey disappear (sumtimes d great grandma grabs me like through the car window like hard and in a scary way and i cant really sere her face and disapears) and wen dey disappear my mom disappears so im left in an out of control car

deyre all dead cuz my grandparents died 2 years ago
(2003)and i didnt get to see them because they live in europe and i live in canada so i didnt get to see them for 2 years and they passed away

n den i unno if it was in real life or in my dream but i told my mom dat d great grandma grabs me (like in scary way her face is all like i unno...)n den my mom told me dat she grabs her too

ive had it for like 2 years now n i usually kant remember any of my dreams like none of dem xept dis one
like im so scared cuz 1. d dead r in my dreams 2. deyre my grandparents/great grandma 3. she grabs me >like in a scary way her face is all i unno... 4. my mom disappears 5. im left alone in a car dats out of control

n den d other day i was walkin outside n i saw like were in my dream my grandparetns jus appeared on d bench on my property n i saw d exact same spot n like i had dis vision dat dey were dere again>but i was awake<

sry for the spelling mistakes and when i woke up i was to scared to even get out of bed like im scared just writing this down i feel like i shouldnt be and that im goin to get into trouble

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 15,Pickering

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Kat,
This nightmare you’re experiencing is a normal reaction to the traumatic loss of your grandparents. That this appears in the form of a nightmare suggests you were greatly affected by the separation and following loss. This loss you feel is natural.

Your mother driving wildly could describe your mother’s emotions, although possibly unconsciously projected, that you absorb from her. (She’s driving, you’re the passenger.) Also an expression of your own emotions. I’m sure the loss was very traumatic to for both of you. It could also indicate you unconsciously feel she drove or was partially responsible for the separation from your grandparents. That they (grandparents/great grandparent) suddenly appear is probably an expression of your desire to have them in your life again. You may feel guilt at not having seen your grandparents during the two year separation before their death (You’re great grandma with a distorted face, grabbing you). Usually there is no warning or notice of death so many people feel guilt at having unresolved issues with the person or persons that have passed (no good bye, no chance to express your love to them, to apologize for wrongs either real or imagined, etc.). To those still living death is very much experienced as a sudden disappearance of the lost person or persons. And that your mother disappears in the end leaving you out of control could be fears about losing your mother, yourself or other's close to you. Realization we have no control over the death aspect. The loss of a loved one often brings up fear and thoughts about losing other’s close to you.

I encourage you to take some time to ‘speak’ to them with your heart. Tell them everything you would as if they were sitting there with you. Be honest with ALL your emotions – love, anger, hurt, joy - whatever you feel. It may be easier to start by just talking about what you did this past week and go from there. Or write a poem or story, or sketch or draw. (No, it doesn’t have to be perfect or make sense to anyone but YOU.) Express your loss through creativity. It helps the healing process.

It will get better. Give it more time.

Below is a poem I wrote following the loss of a close friend. And note, it's not perfect and probably makes no sense to anyone but me.

Spirit ablaze with life fervor,
Push on, advance, no time to stop,
Make one’s way
My life, my life,
For hers

Insipid illness come upon,
The audacity of it all!
Engaged tenacious and sure,
Prevail, triumph, and overcome ergo,
My life, my life
For hers

Abruptly at lives end sleep,
Heart anguish arise with course to tears,
Pray, Implore and Plead,
Demand! Besiege!
And Beg,
I’ve had so much she needs more,
My life, my life,
For hers

Answers come calm and true,
Death calls not to you,
It’s her choice,
Fight again to stay or move on course,
My life, my life,
For hers

Brown robed guide to Heaven’s door,
Rushed in on deep night’s dream,
Shapeless joy aglow, alight
It’s me! It’s me! Now you can see,
I know your life for mine,
I love you, thank you, I’ll be alright,
My life, my life,
For hers

Rush at Heaven’s speed away,
Wait! I’ll go with you,
“No”, felt deep, still and firm,
Arms crossed to bar my track,
Whoosh! Away in headlong flight,
Wake wet tears spilling forth.
Still.
My life, my life,
For hers

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

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