hi everyone,
geeze.. I get tired of posting these horrible dreams here.
anyway, I'm up in the night with this one.
Here's a little history.. when I was a little girl, my Dad hit my brother so many times once, I lost count. Then he came after me. I was 12 or 13. This was because we got D's on our report card.

Yesterday my Mom and I were talking about what's happening with the medicaid/medicare cuts. It means that my brother in law looses all of his meds for two months. His knee is disintigrating and he's in terrible pain. So I networked and raised a bunch of money. However, he grabbed me 8 years ago and we have not talked since.He did this in front of my son.
I was verbal when he touched me .. big no no in my family. And I have defended my right to say no.
when push comes to shove, my family - be it as odd as it is-comes first.
so here is my dream.
I am sitting in a room and hearing my Dad hit my brother over and over. I know I'm next. I scream and pound on the door for him to stop. He and my Mom come out and I shove him against the door and dare him to try and touch me.He calls in 3 unknown men to do the job instead. I fight them off as well.
I tell them this time I'll call the cops and have them both arrested. I wake up crying.
what the hey? I haven't had dreams like this for years. I've had 3 since I saw that young rape victim at work.
Lesie

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 52 Colorado

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} f

Leslie,
Your dreams reflect the still unresolved conflict and pain you possess from childhood. But it my also indicate some inner conflict to do with the masculine in general. Even though you are right to defend yourself and say no, the conflict over the childhood abuse may have produced negative feelings toward males in general. Or you may have taken on masculine characteristics that make you have a too force full personality. You may be reliving the abusive nature of your childhood unconsciously and projecting it onto others. Whereas you must stand up for yourself perhaps there is a less confrontation way to do it. It may only push you more to confrontation, put you on a level akin to their behavior. Until you resolve the inner pain you suffer from there will always be these horrible dreams. They may come and go but instances where you feel threaten by males can rejuvinate the pain, and dreams.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Hey Gerald,
I completely agree. My gosh that puts things in a workable perspective!!!
thanks for being so honest. I feel this is important for me to work on right now. I actually picked a man to work with this time ( very unusual for me) because of my male energy (animus) I am not clear on. I also see that the work I've done on abuse may be like the onion peeling thing.
Leslie

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 52 Colorado

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} f