I had the weirdest dream last night - me and my boyfriend were walking around a festival that is held in my hometown and I saw my semi-abusive father walking around angrily looking for someone. He doesn't know anout me and my boyfriend (who I am confused about - he's my first major boyfriend and he admits he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and I'm pretty sure I want to also but half of me is afraid of the commitment) yet. So I yell at him to run away so he doesn't find us, and I end up running through the crowd and climbing over the side of the railing on the pier on the bay and staying there, just hanging onto the railings. There is big crowd and the people near me seem happy and are smiling for some reason. I don't know where my boyfriend is, he isn't with me. Then I wake up - I don't understand it and I have a feeling it means something important? Thanks!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 18 - AK

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Lindsey,
The added info about your father provides perhaps an understanding of your dream. And the indecisiveness about your boyfriend. There are probably unconscious doubts, and perhaps conscious also, about relationships. Having had an abusive father may make you reluctant to trust men. Even though in the dream you are happy, your boyfriend is not with you. This may be a defense mechanism that questions having a relationship with a male. Being alone is an escape from abuse and may provide happiness, at least temporarily. But the decision whether to have a relationship, the unconscious questions about whether there may be abuse from other men, has left you hanging onto the 'railings'. That represents the indecision.

The message of the dream confronts your fears about relationships. Having had a abusive father naturally can lead you to question future relationships. But you should not base your decisions on how your father treated you. You should judge individuals on their merits and not from how your father treated you.

But one note of caution. Often women, and men, will unconsciously choose a partner that is similiar to their parents. All too often a person will get into one bad relationshop after another simply because of unconscious influences from childhood experiences such as yours. Even though you may be determined not to be get into a relationship that is abusive unconsciously you may end up doing just that. Make sure the person you choose is not your father-type. Get to know the person thoroughly before you make any real commitments. Just as your father may seem to be a nice, gentle person on the surface, underneath lives someone who has demons that have not been confronted and he takes it out on those around him. Be sure, completely sure of the person you choose. That way you can be happy in any crowd.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male