ok, had a dream about a hotel. It was big, modern, cooly decorated. I was there with a group of people, possibly work colleagues, but also friends or just social implied.

At one point I was walking with a slightly older woman, we were going into a dining room to have lunch, chatting friendly along the corridor.

At another point (sorry so disjointed, but can remember just points) I was sitting in a room and wanted a card/piece of paper/leaflet or whatever it was - it was coloured yellow and instead of getting up to get it I looked at it and it came to me - I felt happy, but knew this was something I had to keep to myself.

Throughtout the dream I was romantically attached to one of the men in the group. He was nice and friendly, slightly older, attractive, dark haired. We were girlfriend and boyfriend or similar. but I didn't see much of him, it was like an old fashioned romance - very chaste, 'preparing' to be his girlfriend/bride whatever.

At the later point in the dream, before I woke up,
dinner was being served in another room by this man and some of his friends, I looked through and saw bowls/dinner service set out on the tables, but when I met him and spoke to him again I said,
" I KNOW what this is about, I know about handfasting"
It wasn't like, if I eat from the bowls I would be handfasted to him or anything like that, but the symbol of the bowls/sitting down to dinner implied this ceremony and I wanted to avoid it.
The atmosphere was still friendly and jocular almost;
I knew I didn't have to do anything I didnt want to do.
But I wanted him to know that he wasn't 'fooling me' with secret things, that I did actually have insight.

Please note in waking life I am not a Wiccan and do not participate in handfasting etc, so consequentley don't know a lot about this.
I respect all religions and beliefs etc I'm just saying I am unfamiliar with it...

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Hello Claire,

The hotel probably represents you or your life in some way.

The slightly older woman sounds like she could be a positive image of your shadow or some other positive archetype. Whoever she is, you two seem to be on good terms. Both of you are going into a dining room to have lunch. Although the dream does not specifically say that you ate any food, I believe that the dining room is a good sign. Dream food is usually a source of energy and strength needed for growth. Thus, eating dream food is typically a good sign and is an indication of some sort of spiritual or psychological growth.

Having lunch, as opposed to having some other meal, is probably significant. I associate lunchtime as being around noon. This is when the sun is at the height of its power and influence. Just as the moon is associated with the feminine, the sun is associated with the masculine and consciousness.

There is a scene shift. There is a yellow coloured piece of paper. I usually associate yellow with (1) power or influence (on a social or professional level), or (2) with intelligence and the intellect. However, it could instead be a symbol of the sun.

The man that you are romantically attached to is probably a symbol or your animus. This is only a guess; but it looks like he is at the second stage of development where the animus is a romantic lover or a man of action.

During the dream, you wake up as part of your dream. This may be an indication that your conscious awareness is needed for the next part of the dream. It could even be a sign that the dream has become lucid (?).

Once again, a meal is being served. It is being served by your animus and other men. Your animus seems to be there to help you. Or, could it be, that he is there to help himself?

Then something strange happens. You tell him that you realize that the meal is about handfasting (which is a marriage-like ritual that goes back to pre-Christian Celtic customs). This has the feel of the royal couple or sacred union (also called syzygy). This joining of opposites is almost always a good sign – so, what is the problem?

I remember reading “somewhere” that this divine union works best when the dreamer is not part of the marriage. The marriage is meant to be a joining of opposites that are within the dreamer; thus, one of the opposites should not be the dreamer.

Putting this all together, the dream seems to showing that your animus is strongly situated within your unconscious. It may be that your animus enjoys his current position and wants to solidify this relationship. This is a problem because it hinders any future growth for either one of you.

Hope this helps,
Lugus

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But then by refusing to be handfasted to him does this not signify that I am 'aware' of his position and what 'he' wants?
I don't understand the part about the union of opposites either? I thought individuation WAS the union of opposites and it was between the anima and the animus in the dreamer?
Or do you mean this should be a waking psychological event and not an unconcious one?

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I agree that you or, at least, the dream version of you is aware of the implication of the handfasting ceremony.

If you were joined with your animus, this would not be the joining of opposites. Why is this? In your dream, the dream you is probably your ego. So, what is the opposite of the ego? Is it the Self? Does the ego have an opposite? Whoever it is, it is probably not the animus.

Like you, I have also read that this “sacred marriage” is the joining of the anima and the animus. However, my understanding is that the anima is only seen in the dreams of men while the animus is only seen in the dreams of women.

I can see how the shadow and the animus could be opposites but I do not believe that you and your animus are opposites. If you are not opposites, you two should not be the bride and the groom in this joining.

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Ok I'm lost now!? lol

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As mentioned above, “The anima is the feminine aspects of a male psyche … The animus is the masculine aspect of the female psyche ….” [Source: http://www.mythsdreamssymbols.com/termnology.html]

I stand corrected about the animus. I believe that the divine union can consist of you and your animus. However, I remember reading somewhere (?) that Jung wrote that the union works better if the dreamer is not the one getting married.

But, if you are not the intended bride, who is? I suspect that the intended bride is the slightly older woman in the first part of the dream, who may be a positive version of your shadow. And, yes – I do realize that the shadow is typically seen to be a negative, unpleasant opposite of the dreamer.

I hope this helps.

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