Hi Jerry,

Once again, thank you for putting such amount of effort in your interpretation. I think I know what may be the issue with the spiders. It became very clear to me the day after i had the dream, and now that I read your thoughts I feel even more sure of what they symbolize.
It is not that I don´t trust my ex, he would never hurt our daughter physically, and I know that he is making a real effort to be the best father to her while they´re together.
There was a period of three months just before and after our youngest daughter was born, that he just fled away from everything, and from living here with us, moved straight in with another woman (who he met just two weeks before I found out he was seeing her) This happened two weeks before the baby was born, and the period after this was very chaotic, and naturally I wouldn´t let him have our daughter come visit him when he was living with his new girlfriend.
It took him three months to arrange with a friend from work to share an flat just down the street that is for rent from mars-aug. For him to get to know the baby it is important that he lives nearby. This freind of his does not get along with my ex´s new girlfriend, and (to my relief) she is not there when my daughter is there. When my ex does not have our daughter, he lives with his new woman and her three year old son.
It is a long and complicated story, but bottom line: I have a very bad feeling when it comes to the woman my ex is involved with. I do not trust her at all, she is a mother herself, and despite that she chose to get involved with a man who was two weeks from having a baby, still living with his family.
I know I got really hurt because they didn´t hesitate to demonstrate their new love when I was alone most of the time with a newborn baby, and a 4 year old who couldn´t visit her father. He didn´t show much interest in his children at that time. It seems now that he is trying to make up for this by being super-dad when he has the eldest one. I know it is mainly him who is to blame for the mess that we had to go through, but I know that he at least takes good care of our daughter. And he is like a boy in many ways, inexperienced and immature. But this woman, his new girlfriend...maybe it is a "mother-to-mother" -issue: I cant wrap my head around how she could do that. It is really something I would never do. I just can´t help myself thinking she has a serious lack of empathy, and must be very manipulating. There are other things pinting in that direction to. I know she is very good with computers and that she used to spy on her ex on facebook... And I´m not alone saying it seems she has got some sort of control over my ex. She is very dominant. To my relief, she is not around all the time when he has our daugther, but in time, if they stay together, she will be. And that is a thought that almost makes me panic.. I have a strong feeling that she is obsessed by her own shadow, (after doing some reading on that topic) and I can tell she has a very negative effect on my ex too. He just shuts down, somehow. This was even worse around the time the baby was born.
I know this may seem like I want him back, but that is NOT the case. I really don´t. I see something new and good coming to me in the future.
But I want my ex to find a good woman too, who I can trust is going to be be good to our girls.
But of course, the problem is: Am I making this up, because they hurt me so much, or am I right.. Is she no good? It is the exact same feeling I get when I think of her, as with the spiders in my dream. I´m crossing my fingers that my ex will wake up and leave her, but he seems caught in a net, somehow. Part of the net is proving to me and the world that she was worth leaving his family for.. Even now I have that creepy feeling that she might somehow have access to see what I´m doing on my computer. I don´t know how good a hacker she she is.

But I am very happy in all other ways, my life is filled with love and light. I just have this fear for the future to deal with, but now that I have learned what good can come out of the seemingly catastrophic, I have faith that this to will pass..

Inanna

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31 Norway

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Inanna,
Oh, what a web we weave! Although you trust your ex you have problems with your daughter being with him when his 'new love' is there. The central theme of the dream was focused on your ex and your daughter with no direct mention of the 'other woman'. But the 'huge black spider' is most likely her, that thing you are afraid of {her and spiders}. So it all does fit together.

As for her hacking into your computer. A possibility but either she would have to be a real 'nerd' with computers or hire someone to do it for her, either of which would be breaking the law. The senses you may have of 'her' breaking into your computer may be the fear of her 'breaking into your life' and having a negative influence on your daughter. Unless you can find evidence of computer hacking I would look to the later as the sense you feel. Remember, it is by being objective that you discover truths and not by letting the emotions control you. You overcame the 'strong' emotions when your ex went to another woman so you have that ability so continue use that great asset.

As for the condition of your life at the present time. You have come a long way and with all that has come at you, well it does take a strong will to combat the emotions you have had to deal with. Stay strong and focused on raising your children. Perhaps it would be a good thing to introduce them to Pippi Longstocking {if you yet to do so}. That is something the three of you can share and it can be a great tool for them to learn about strength and perseverance. Just as it has helped you.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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Hi again,

I sure hope you are right, and you most likely are. Of course the fear of her breaking into my life may lead me to the fear of her hacking my computer. It is really almost the same thing. I spend much of my time in the evenings, chatting with friends now, since I can´t get out much. So the computer represents my life in many ways. It is my private sphere. The idea of her being an influence on my daughter haunts me, but in some way I keep those thoughts at a distance.. Maybe I repress them and they surface from another angle? The idea of her sneaking in and me not being able to catch her.
Even though I have these frightening thoughts every once in a while, I feel very safe, and the way things are moving forward makes me feel like I´m on the right path, and that I´m being "looked after".
So many things in my life tells me that everything that happened was clearig the way for good things to come. And now the challenge is to make the best out of the situation for the girls.

My eldest daughter has been a fan of Pippi since she was just one year old.. watching the films, not understanding a word, but still totally captivated! And she still loves watching Pippi. I´ll of course introduce the little one to her too when she´s a bit older!

Thank you for your thoughts

Inanna

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31 Norway

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Inanna,
Those deepest fears are what are often the focus of our dreams. And your 'life being the time with your computer' is most likely the stimulus of the fear of her hacking into your computer, and thus your life. The good news is you have moved forward.

Pippi has become a family event. And a wonderful tool for the psyche. Just as with mythology the youngest psyche can be 'caught' by such tales as with Pippi because they strike an inner cord. To be able to see it on a screen, that is even better. Raising your children with those wonderful stories from your childhood can only be a positive in their lives. The experiences from your childhood can be a tool for raising your children and to have a such a wonderful guide in doing that, well that is special.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes