Jerry,

I believe it is a combination. Yes, emotionally has to do with a relationship in which I have been down this path before. This one though has been more of a break through in breaking up the pattern I have been looping in for awhile. It is just a shame though another lamb sacrificed for my spiritual development as I truly do like this person and would've liked to have developed a deeper relationship. I now see him as perhaps the catalyst who helped me to break through. The damage has already been done though and this seems to be what can be salvaged although not certain. This experience has pushed me to move towards something deeper although I still put out a bit of noise to repel anyone getting too close.

Perhaps too in way, this is helping me to get in touch with deeper emotions and needs I have and allowing me to possibly make it a reality.

~a

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