Jennifer,
I will try to answer your questions so make as much sense as I can. If I want to do one thing in my attempt to interpret Jung I wish to make the language easier to understand. Jung can be 'deep' and hard to follow in much of his writing, Campbell is great at 'articulating" what Jung meant but getting there requires some digestion of Campbell's books and essay. I may use resources from other sources to help complete my thoughts on the subject, something that is easy to do with so much information available via the internet.

Your question,
"This means that if, instead of acknowledging and becoming acquainted with your own soul-image, you project it on to members of the opposite sex, you may be led into disastrous relationships. For example, an emotional man may choose a blue-stocking for his partner; or a sensitive woman may be irresistibly attracted by bearded intellectuals?

The animus is the archetype that completes women, that is, it contains the male qualities which the *persona lacks. The animus of a woman and the anima of a man take the form of a "*soul-image" in the personal unconscious; this soul-image may be transferred to a real person who naturally becomes the object of intense feeling, which may be passionate love OR passionate hate. The OR depends on the individual and their evolution of experiences.

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*persona - the outer or social self that faces the world
*soul image - he soul-image is a specific archetypal image produced by the unconscious, commonly experienced in projection onto a person of the opposite sex.

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Example
For an idealistic woman, a depraved man is often the recipient of the soul-image; He fulfills those masculine qualities which the females persona lacks . He often is see as the "saviour-fantasy". It is the woman's soul crying for help for fulfillment of what is lacking in the woman's persona. A relationship is entered into which will initially thrive on the basis of the projected soul-image. Inherently symbiotic, they often end badly.

So to answer your specific question, assuming it may have associations for which you suspect in yourself, the animus projection would be someone you have projected this image on, a specific person, more likely a close and/or intimate relationship. It does not mean you necessarily cast this image on all men, just those men or that particular man you perceive who will fulfill your lack of particular masculine qualities. Wherever an impassioned, almost magical, relationship exists between the sexes, it is invariably a question of a projected soul-image.

Just as we tend to assume that the world is as we see it, we naively suppose that people are as we imagine them to be. . . . All the contents of our unconscious are constantly being projected into our surroundings, and it is only by recognizing certain properties of the objects as projections or imagos that we are able to distinguish them from the real properties of the objects.....
for more see the CGJung Page Projection

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Your relationship seems have a projection aspect to it but a recognition that it often does not let you be your true self may supersede the projection idea. What may be occurring in the relationship is you have projected actual missing masculine qualities that are you lack onto you bf but it has more to do with a general role and not a specific projection of the animus.
Often this condition has to do with daughter/father relationships during childhood. How much is your bf like your father, or in the opposite position 'unlike' your father. Either can be a product of projection, the 'love' or 'hate' emotion being a result of your particular personality.

From what you state your bf does seem to possess a lot the opposites of your true self. As a matter of psychological clarity the animus projection issue is certainly important. But from personal experiences I believe it just as necessary to understand the position you find yourself in with the relationship and not the determination if this is a 'soul image'. Is it not more important to determine if this is a true 'soul mate'? The perfect man as a soul mate may be asking for too much but if he adds fulfillment to your life then he is more likely a good potential soul mate. If, as you say, the relationship does not allow you to be your true self, that would present real problems since wholeness depends on being that true self. If there is an unhappiness, as you state, no matter the defining symbolic nature of the relationship {animus projection}, you can not progress in your personal growth. You can not be that true self.

Its interesting that this question come up at this particular time since I am deeply focused on the idea that personal experience and a knowledge of 'common sense' can provide good insights as much as an psychological explanation. Although I can relate, and intuitively understand the probable underlying psychological condition {possible animus projection}, it is the objective approach that often involves the 'common sense' that provides the best answer to the 'question'. In my thinking you have already asked the question that will provide the correct answer to the relationship.
That as a couple, if we don't more forward we cannot grow together, and if there is no growth, I feel we are not being all that we could be.

Projections aside, the reality of the relationship is best how to judge where it should go. Or end.

As for the image of Odin in your dream and the possible application to your psyche. The application may be more about a quest for knowledge as anything. This would require possessing a 'masculine attitude' on your part and since you tend to relent to your bf taking the lead, the symbolic reference may be the need to develop a stronger masculine self so you can be take back that lead position. It may less about projection as it is courage and discipline, both of which are masculine qualities, qualities I would think Odin possessed. How to use it is what left him/you hanging.

Odin struggled with himself for the ultimate wisdom. Nine nights he hung on the windswept tree. His inner being gradually grew clearer and more luminous. Now he finally found the symbols of life's noblest values.
Since Odin represents a masculine aspect of your psyche, Odin would in effect be 'you'.

The reference to nine and symbols may be pointing to the truest of life's 'noblest values'. Because of the number nine I see the feminine as a value to be considered. The symbol may be pointing to the 'noblest values' as the feminine, you, possessing a strong masculine quality. This would apply to the quest for inner knowledge as well as with the relationship with your bf {let's remember Jung's concept that all dreams possess at least two meanings}. Your approach to the spiritual life {pagan} is different from most {more close to my position}

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Your social being is encumbered by the necessity to serve the dragon {my reference to social duty, work and responsibilities that are required by the system just to make a living-it is stacked against the average person}. This is a primary task of the hero/heroine in 'slaying dragons'. That and a rebirth to the spiritual condition. Joseph Campbell remarked that 'Nirvana' {Buddhisms equivalent to haven} is a psychological condition where the individual is 'indifferent' to fear, desire and social duty. In today's world we can not even get past social duty let alone our fears and desires.

But that is the task in life, the hero deed, to overcome all obstacles by living a spiritual life and discovering that bliss in life. That usually involves the creative aspect. It is a long journey to wholeness, finding that true self. You have to be that self or you will be defined, controlled and measured by others.
It is the emotional self that is the primary demon that gets in the way. Relationships are always emotional. Many ways to approach the subject but if you look at things objectively and not subjectively {emotionally} I believe you will have a better chance of success. I can speak from experience on many of these matters of the heart and after all that has happened in my life I firmly believe it is most important to develop an objective view of life. Not letting the emotional self control what should be an objective decision. May sound a bit cold but if you live a spiritual life there are plenty of emotional values to possess that make you human. Living life from the feminine aspect, as Jesus did and not as a patriarchal God, that is where I try to position myself in my quest for wholeness.

Jerry

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