Hi Justin,
I was looking over your dream and wondering if you feel there is a possible connection to your real life child. It is true that your own childhood has a great impact on your adult situation but consider that your parenting and own personal happiness also affect your little ones into their adult life. Is there something about your career or own childhood that has programmed you to do something that could leave your child emotionally or spiritually perpetually bleeding? I feel like there could be a connection here to the child's future ability to stand on her own two feet or to go her own way. Try putting this together with the loose teeth part and see how it all fits together.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 35 USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Y

hi Jerry,
I read your reply soon after you posted it, and have been absorbing it over these days (and living though the Christmas thing)

short reply is that it resonates on many levels; thank you - dreams can be like standing too close to the mirror, we cannot gain prespective

whoa - were to start , , , yes, I think that whatever is playing ou in my working life right now (over the past years, perhaps like your marriages (retrospectively I avoided marrigage and camoflouged my inner deficiencies with work. And I agree it links right back to childhood, and perhaps intra-uterine ( I have often wondered this and have tried to go back though some family records to track when my maternal grandmother died and when I was born, as my mother in a tone I cannot decipher (was it love or dedication or regret, or proof) that she, my mother, nursed her mother at home until her death. From what I can glean I as prob forming when my mother learned that her mother was dying, and then when I was born she had to 'nurse' both her child (me) and her mother. I have lived with the fear of death all my life, and the feeling that no one was there / is ther / will be there for me.
Now that I have a young child, I wonder who looked after me ? perhaps this is all conjecture and I should clarify the dates.
I have no recollection of ever being held, or touched - except once for a belting, and holding her hand in the final month of her life - it felt so strange to do so. She herself once described herself as a 'cold fish' - in the final months of her life, when she was cold yet it was full of double meaning and seemed to echo back in her memory (perhaps my father had told her years before).

Holding something together: another meaning = I felt responsible for holding my parents together, , , from my earliest memories, I could see they were unhappy and did all I could to hold their marriage together. As a little kid, this meant trying (all the time) to be good, , , enough said

That is one aspect - the other is the 'father issues' - and I think this is what is the issue is my life at present.
Physically present, as much as a hard working man of that time was - emotionally absent.
My time with him as spent sitting on the sofa wating tv when I should have been doing homework or sleeping:: or perhaps even talking. A tired man at the end of the day: I could feel his need to be with himself. I could sense how much he resented having to go to work - and that he felt that my mother had it easy. She for her part could never see how unhappy he was - it was only years after his death that she realised that he really didn't like going to work, and even then she had no emotional insight, no empahty was in her voice. I was so sad for him and angry at her that she had lived with him and lived from the product of his work and had no insight into him - what he had done. I was well into a better understanding at that stage, and she was too far from being able to gain any insight by that stage.
The one piece of advice I remember him imparting was 'don't trust women' - perhaps was 6 or 8 yrs old; I thought he must have just been angry with my mother , ,, but he repeated it some years later - and even as a child I could see the inconsistencies: my mother, my adopted sister , , ,
So some pretty significant lack of masculine guidance issues: I totally agree about the need for boys-young men to have male models , , ,


An emotional wasteland is one way I would describe my exposure to life's emotions. Dominated with the perspective that suffering brings one closer to God,,,

And yes = I do have a sister; an adopted sister : however that was only mentioned once.
I have no recollection of her coming home ( I would have been 2yrs 3 months old (I'd never worked that out.
I know there is a lot of baggage within me relating to this , , , however I just can't access is , , , I want to write = "I can't let it out" , ,, , ,
* all that I know is that everything seemed to go her way; my perception of it all is that she 'got it all' :the attention ? and I was left languishing, to fend for myself emotionally
I cannot imagine letting this go , , , it feels too big; too much to handle , , , !! perhaps this is it !!!

And perhaps all this links into Dreamers comment that of perpetuating something , , ,, my happiness or lack of , , , and how that affects my daughter.



Also - the 'thinking' aspect - yes I know the pathways now (the anatomy) and yet there seems a need to link to the emotions of the time

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 54, Darwin Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} M

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Y

hi Dreamer,
you'll see my much longer reply above - yet wanted to say that you are accurate in this interpretation - there is 'something' that I intuite has been passed on along the generations (hint in the dream is the piercing - this is so often done, "because it is something "we" do - something that (we think) defines us/ binds us , , , and hence holds "us' together) it feels like ?Stockholm syndrome (those held captive share a love of their captor, and cannot speak against him / her; in an "exclusive" - in way that only those who have been through it can understand)(as i write this it sounds a lot like what women who lhave been asused say , , ,,and they go back to it , , abuse becomes the only way they can express their emotions (love) , ,, something not so nice / not so good , ,, I've been working away at defining this for some years now, , ,,

thanks. Justin

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 54, Darwin Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} M

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Y

Justin,
I am writing this as I read your post {using Wordpad, my usual backback mode when making posts}.

I am wonedring. Could your fear of death have anything to do with your mother's nursing you and your grandmother at the same time? From studies of various sciences {psychology, socialogy, anthropology, etc} we have established that the early development of a child's brain takes in so much we never thought possible. What happens in the earliest life can become an influence for the rest of the life {even in the womb}. If there were 'vibes' received as a child it could very be there was an impression left on your psyche, your mother having to deal with agonizing btask of a dying mother. Her energies were being shared and just as your grandmother was consciously aware of you, you unconsciously could have been aware of her and your mother's experiences with her. Something to give thought to.

And then there is the lack of parent affection. That perhaps is the one thing so many of us share {whether it is from the mother, father or both}. Most all animals are dependent on the mother from the beginning. Image a small bird without parents to feed it. It woudl not last but a few days. Take away the affection that comes with the attention giving the infant and the animal is deprived of what nature intended. A source of comfort and assurance that is imprinted on the psyche, before and after. Jung does a marvelous job in providing insights to this relationship between mother and child and its importance throughout life. If there is a lack of love, nurturing and acceptance early in life you can bet your mortgage there will be consequences related to that later in life. Our dreams, as a therapuetic device, attempt to help sort out these emotional conflicts. Through the use of symbolic language {such language is used because it is from our primiative minds, the use of symbols being the earliest form of communication} the dreams is attempting to communicate to the dreamer exactly what is out of balance in the dreamer's emotional life. The non relationship with your mother would be a great influence on you as an adult. Even though we often find ways to overcome these 'deficiets' from early life, the experiences are imprinted on the psyche and often influence how the person acts and lives their life. I can relate to this in my own story of not having a father early in life and trying to find that love which was lacking all through my twenties and early thirties. The same would likely apply to you in your attempt to reconcile that lost love from earliest life. Then add this to the trying to hold your parents marriage together. And then the father issues. It is a wonder you have made it this far.

Do you have or have you had a problem trusting women?

Not being able to let it out, let go. That probably stems from earliest life experiences with your mother and father. They had no outlet for their emotions and once learned twice burned in your life. Consciously you can not get yourself to confront thee 'demons' but unconsciously, in your dreams, you are working overtime to do so. And will continue to do so until your resolve the emotional issues. the wonderous thing is although you can not bring yourself to consciously confront these issues, the unconscious dream's attempts are therapeutic. The resillance of the psyche and the human will to survive is a wonderous thing. but there has to be an outlet or sooner or later it all catches up with you.

And yes, your mental state of mind, whether you consciously display any unhappiness or not, affects your daughter. Just as your parents did with you. That makes it doubly important to find an avenue to resolve whatever the emotional issues that are in conflict. I myself was able to use Jung's Individuation Process to 'cast out' my demons. It took the better part of 15 years to realize the full scope of what was needed but the whole time I was working with my dream work and web design was therapeutic. It was one tool {the other being phsyical fitness} that kept me grounded and able to persevere. Not everyone will appreciate this method of therapy and others may need a professional to help. Either way it must be done or the fear of death may become a reality and sooner than necessarity.

What treatment have you tried or currently using to resolve these issues. Being so consciously aware of them as you are is an important step. Where do you think you need to go in your next step?

Jerry

Myths-Dreams-Symbols Dream Forum
Sponsored & Supported by:

Gifford Fence Co/Middle Tennessee

Gifford Fence Orlando/Melbourne Fence Pro

Daniel Gifford's 2Stain Fence Staining

---

Web Design



MyDrSy.com - The Power of Dreams
Melbourne Dreams & Metaphysics - Dream Interpretation Space Coast, Florida

---

---