Thanks Jerry :) I've been interested in dreams my whole life, and I'm particularly fascinated with lucid ones! I'll probably post a couple other of my more recent ones later. I do have a lot of trouble when it comes to conversing one on one with my subconscious though. Usually when I'm lucid I stick to messing around with my powers and practicing new ones, but on the of chance I think to say "Let me talk to my subconscious" or try to explore my mind or really anything like that things get dicey. I usually end up waking up from shock before anything actually happens. I don't know why I get so scared at the thought of confronting my subconscious. Fear of the unknown I guess. I don't know what will happen or what I might hear. I'm going to try to work on that though and do my best to be brave the next time the situation comes up.

I also think the brothers were sort of a symbol of wishful thinking. I have often imagined what it would be like to have older brothers who could support me. I don't know, it's a weird sentiment but eh. I do take my role as big sister very seriously. My siblings are everything to me. I feel like it's my job to protect them and make sure they are happy and feel loved. It's a big deal for me. I guess I do expect a lot of myself. And then when I fail these expectations it's pretty depressing. Agh. Anyways I'm hoping to have another lucid dream tonight so I can attempt to not be freaked out by my own mind haha.

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Anna,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your statement, "Usually when I'm lucid I stick to messing around with my powers and practicing new ones" is the reason I am not a big fan of lucid dreaming. Lucid dreaming can be a great tool in approaching the unconscious, as with you asking your dream to tell you what it is trying to communicate. But the temptation to play with dreams can distract from the therapeutic value dreams provide. Although the dream will probably offer up these values even in lucid dreaming at some point, the fact that one is playing with the tool could take away from that. Lucid dreaming should be used constructively. Perhaps I do not have enough experiences to gauge the full affect of lucid dreaming, any positive affects when playing with these type dreams, what i have seen in the posts at the Dream Forum are more in a playful mode than one of asking the dream to focus on the emotional conflicts of the dreamer. If the dreamer learns to control their dreams using lucidity for this purpose alone then I can see enough more conflicts of the mind since what would be a natural solution provided in dreams is so diluted the dream becomes a wasteland of unobserved emotional conflicts. Dreams are the storage bins for the emotions, not a waste can.

As for your 'big brothers' in the dream. Your answer fits with what I sensed it might. The emotional toll on you and the expectations you put on yourself would need something to help you resolve these issues. One of the applications {of the two} would be a stronger masculine self. The other would be the actual 'wishful' desire you have in your waking life to actually have a big brother to support you. I hope you do understand that these emotional issues you are experiencing now can have long term affects on your psyche and personality. We all must learn to keep a balance of masculine and feminine qualities to truly be happy in life. If you go through life with too strong or too weak of a masculine identity then it will throw you off balance. Keep this mind when in life you abruptly do something out of the ordinary to your normal self {believing you possess a keen understanding of your true self}. Ask yourself 'where did that come from?' Whey did I react in that manner? It could very well be from the influences/experiences from this early period of life. We all are basically who we are because of the early life environment in which we grew up.


Jerry

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