hi Jerry,

once again many thanks,, you have got me going


this dream has highlighted for me the rrole of the masculine in my current statee (well actually it has been playing out over my lifetime). I had thought things were mainly related to the feminine,, aand I'd been needing to 'get stronger''.
So it is now a shock to realise that these issues relating to my father are so profound; yet iit is so, and explains a lot, a lot.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, aJungian lady mentioned that the looking for love was actually ddue to confusing ''love'with guidance - it struck me like a flash - tthe profound lack of guidance from mmy father;; so I turned to my mother for tha, yet a boy needs masculine guidance. Anyway that was a significant insight for me..

Another iis your rremidner that this is midlife stuff:: bbig stuff ::: and that it is affecting me profoundly at present. It has and is profoundly affecting my interactions with all authority ffigures (the big institution within which I work)).. and gives me some understanding of why I have had/ have such problems dealing with aauthority figures. IIt would be hard to overstate the depth of its influence oon my life.


And now I am 'becoming '' one of those older men,,,, a fatther, , , no wonder I am in such inner turmoil

A lot of work to do here Jerry
(keypad playing up))uugh

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 54, Darwin Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} M

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Y

Justin,
I feel your pain. Like you I did not have that 'guidance' from my father in my formative years {or any year}. It 'prompted' me in later to look for those important aspects that are normally supplied by the father figure by elsewhere. It resulted in three failed marriages, all of which could have been saved had I known of the unconscious influences. There is an argument that such early life experiences/influences has little to do with life making decisions. I know that is wrong and you and I and many others whom I have 'counseled' at the Dream Forum are proof of it. Once upon a time it was believed that an infant's/toddler's mind could not process information well. But now we know that is not true either and a child takes in stimuli around it and processes it as material for unconscious motivations. A battered toddler may not remember the actual experiences but it is possible for the unconscious to produce reactions later on in life related to those trauma experiences. For a young boy whose world is filled with requirements to fulfill hid masculine identity, a world without a father is life ocean without fish. It is devoid of those little things that give it life and purpose.

Then mid-life comes along and the biological father that was never there returns in the form of the archetypal father {Marion Woodman's 'The Crown of Age' wonderfully addresses the archetypal mother/father}. One can not properly function without the other. The archetypal father, those innate, predispositions we are born with that provide us with natural instincts relevant to the father/son relationship, seeks completion in a relationship with the biological father. If that is lacking, as in yours and my life without a father, the unconscious looks to the archetypal masculine. The results may play out differently depending on the individual but it can be {and often is} a controlling agent in the person's life. One result could be a weak masculine. And a problem with authority figures which most often will be male. The authority figure we are actually rebelling against is the unfulfilled masculine within ourselves.

Looking back at this dream we see there is a need to rescue the feminine. That would be a call for a strong masculine self. But you do not have those skills. Boats are vehicles of transition and here the weak masculine has been 'transferred' into a feminine identity {for me that identity was looking for that unmet fatherly love in relationships with women}. Later in the dream 'the man (husband?) is heard and I have to hide'. The husband is the father and those natural aspects are hidden from you because you do not have the experiences of a father/son relationship. So what do you do? You attack him. That is played out by your rebellion against authority/masculine figures. Where else is it played out if any? A lack of the biological father can result in the person lacking the skills as a father to his son/children.

So what do you do to replace that lack of masculinity in early life? Your turn to the mother. In the dream the feminine is held captive. But actually both aspects are being held captive {He has us both in a room}. A weak masculine and a substitute feminine which lacks the required skills {natural} of the masculine. The fight is the internal emotional conflict. Earlier life barriers {walls} come out {at midlife}. Those barriers, the lack of the biological father figure, enhance the suffering throughout life. The suffering lives on, until the underlying causes are realized. The psyche, in its natural therapeutic function, tries to bring balance by 'cutting' away both elements that provide emotional nourishment {or should do so}. The logical as well as the emotional {the two sides of the brain} , trying to make sense of it all {at midlife}.
{There are probably other applications to the symbols but these come to mind when reading the dream a second time}.

Defining the problem is how healing begins. Dreams are attempting to do that. But there has to be a 'connection' to the conscious mind of the unconscious contents {in the dreams}. You seem to have made that connection. The task now is to reconcile the conflicts. By looking back at your life and seeing where the weak masculine had such a profound affect on your actions, that is how I came to my healing. I identified the controlling aspects and gave them life in the moment {revisited the experiences as if they were happening now}. Once I did that {many times over} I was no longer held captive to the unconscious stimuli. I could see clearly why I was who I was throughout my early adult life.

Note: This 'in the moment' application is how art therapy, visual therapy, etc. helps to resolve these issues. They bring them to life in the moment, a visual realization of the unconscious contents that are in conflict.

So you now have realized how strong an influence the lack of a father figure was on your life. Go back and revisit that 'child' you were, those moments that have been captured in a 'freeze' frame in your mind. See how strong that child was even though he was suffering. That 'natural' resilience in childhood needs to be rekindled at the age of 54. That child did nothing wrong. And now that you are 54 you need to realize that so you can reconcile those experiences where you may not have been the person you should have been. That in itself is life changing.
What Joseph Campbell often said about following your bliss applies here. You get two chances in life. Now is the time to take that second chance and make good use of it.


Jerry

Myths-Dreams-Symbols Dream Forum
Sponsored & Supported by:

Gifford Fence Co/Middle Tennessee

Gifford Fence Orlando/Melbourne Fence Pro

Daniel Gifford's 2Stain Fence Staining

---

Web Design



MyDrSy.com - The Power of Dreams
Melbourne Dreams & Metaphysics - Dream Interpretation Space Coast, Florida

Space Coast/Treasure Coast Dreams & Dream Interpretation Meet Up Group

---

---