WhiteMaidenWest,
There is always a stimulus for our dreams and the 'old friend' of the abusive guy showing up and asking questions is probably the reason you had this particular dream. It stimulated the unresolved emotional conflict you had with the abusive guy.

The dreams where you had a figure watching you is probably related to this abusive experience also. The 'figure' would be your own unconscious, its attempt to help reconcile the fear that still is 'watching over you' from the result of your year long experience with the abusive guy. The experience possessed emotional energies that remain and as long as there is the fear {of him and the experience} you will continue to have dreams about the guy, and the figure. A reason for that is you have bottled up the emotions, not having shared the truth about the guy with parents and friends. As long as that remains the case 'he' {the abusive guy} will continue to have access to your psyche. I suggest you talk to your parents and let them know the truth. As for informing friends about it I would only do so if it becomes a topic of conversation where you need to let the truth be known. I would not make it a point to tell everyone because some may not understand the severity of the relationship and mis-conscrew your reasons.

There is one other item that may be important. You state your parents approved of the relationship. You would have been 13 at the time it happened. Was their approval one of liking him for a friend? You were/are very young to be in any type of serious relationship. If it was an approval based on more than just friendship I would question the parenting. That in turn would pose questions to possible deeper fears you may have from even earlier experiences where there was abuse. The figure could be of other unresolved abusive experiences. Think back to earlier life and see if there may be something frightening that could be repressed in your unconscious. Could there have been earlier experiences where there was abuse?

Again, it would be important that you get this out of your system and talk to someone you trust {an adult}. As long as you keep it bottled up the longer it will fester. It needs closure and the only way for that is verbalize what happened to someone who will listen and be sympathetic. Such experiences, if left unresolved, can become an influence on future relationships. Being aware of such type guys is a positive but there are possible negatives if you do not get this out. That is most important.

Jerry

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Apr 30th, 2013 - 5:48 AM