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Re: More decapitation

Merana,
I'll provide a more detailed response later today. To address a couple of your questions, the patriarchy issue is a cultural issue and has been since man decided he is the boss. That doesn't become a problem unless man decides he needs to denigrate the feminine. When i say feminine I not only speak of cultural but also psyche issues. The real problem is man is afraid of the feminine aspect of the psyche and that is apparent in out religious systems. For man to say woman is equal would lessen the power structure of Western cultures {and most Eastern}. God is male. The problem with that is Jesus lived from the feminine aspect {caring, loving, giving, compassion, etc}. Which is correct. If Jesus is God, as we are instructed to believe from scripture, then there is a clash somewhere in that idea. i tend to look to the mystics for the answer to that question. An example would be the Christian sect of Gnosticism. These scriptures are as old as the New Testament but have not been alter as has the bible. They show that the true ground of our being is from the feminine, Jesus directing us to look inward and not outward for God. They are pure Buddhism. This is the reason these books were not included in the bible. They refute patriarchy.

As for how much personal history to provide. Generalities would be best and not in-depth details. No one knows who you are so there is little possibility of personal issues being disseminated. If there was abuse or an experience that left a great emotional impression, then providing who it was from or what happened without naming names would suffice. A parent or relative, or a trusted friend would be enough. The age when it happened or the time frame would be important. What I look for in dreams are emotional patterns. I then try to put in words what i see that will help the dreamer connect it to real life events. It is nearly impossible to say exactly what the emotional experience was but i often can provide clues to what they may be so the dreamer recognizes the associations. I have found Jung's theories on the dream to be pretty much reliable. With a little intuitive sensing {a feminine aspect being put to use} usually I can provide a good picture of what the dream is trying to communicate. Of course the dreamer has to have an ability, and desire, to put the pieces together. Fortunately that isn't a big problem since most who post at the Dream Forum are already searching for answers and are aware something 'within' is stirring. We all have emotional conflicts that need to be addressed. Taking time to do so is what is important. If it is left unattended it will only get worse and eventually take form in something more sinister in the waking life {projecting the emotional conflict onto someone else is often the case}.

If you wish to go 'deeper' into the patriarchal issues feel free to share what you feel comfortable with. As I stated in my last post it is a series of dreams and a discussion with the dreamer that ultimately brings about what the dream message is. That is where the healing process begins. That is what I hope to do in providing interpretations, help heal the wounds. Having worked with my own issues and having resolved those I know the power of dreams and the power of dreams in helping in the healing process.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You





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Re: More decapitation

Merana,
I took another look at your dreams and I believe more info about your early life may help us understand them. What was the relationship with family like? Is there anything that occurred in your ten years that the dream is trying to expose, something you do not want to think about? I get a sense the first dream is addressing that aspect, something within the unconscious that needs to be made conscious. There looks to be a lot of emotional pain involved. If you can provide more information about these things perhaps the intended message of the dream will reveal itself.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You





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Re: More decapitation

It's late here so I will post some more background info tomorrow.

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Re: More decapitation

So this is some background info that might help explain the May 2 car accident dream.

The events with my parents-- I realized when I was writing it all out again that it did relate to my parents. In the dream the mother's head was put back on and it seemed like it was an attempt to make her look alive and the father's was way far away and obviously dead. So in real life, my father died when I was 11 (not a car accident) and my mom had to kind of pretend to be ok, but she did seem ok actually, she was really strong throughout the process.

There might be a lot more details there that relate to my dad and his actual death, which is something I still think about. Consciously I feel like I've dealt with it, understand it, etc. which is why maybe I'm just an observer in this dream? Between age 11-16 I tried to cope pretty much on my own with my father's death--that was one area my mom didn't really know how to deal with. Then around age 16-17 I started seeing a counselor and was diagnosed with depression. Around that time I had very dark, sometimes disturbing dreams, including the first decapitation one. And when I say dark I mean literally, it was like I was walking around in the dark in all of my dreams and I thought that was normal.
Anyway, my brother and I were also the only ones there when he died-- my mom was out for the afternoon. He had a massive heart attack. My brother was the one who called the ambulance. Our neighbor came over and had us stay at her house when the ambulance showed up. (I think she didn't want us to see what the paramedics would have to do to him, to protect us. So, similar to the dream.) But that was the last time we saw him alive and it was really scary and confusing. Now when I think about it and wish I could go back and tell him I love him or comfort him. I was standing there frozen watching him take what were probably his last breaths.

I remember thinking all day, after they took him to the hospital, that he was going to be ok. Maybe he was just really sick. When we finally got to the hospital, I expected to see him but he wasn't there. I thought the doctor would take us to see him. I prepared myself to see him in a hospital bed with tubes and stuff all over, but we just waited and then he finally told us what happened, and that was kind of the end of my normal childhood.

Maybe wishing for impossible things is preventing me from moving on? I was really close with him so that makes it hard. For a very long time I felt like my dad was the only one who really knew me and understood me, and he was gone. And going back to the patriarchal thing (and wishing for impossible things), I sometimes wish I could have met my grandfather. I think about him a lot since I'm in Germany and he died in Europe (probably France) in WWII.

I didn't really think this dream would be about all that old stuff, I guess because I thought I moved on, but how could it not be about that? It just seems obvious.

Also I should mention that around the time of both of these dreams I was talking to my mom and she was worried about my brother--he's having some issues getting his life together, getting a job, and is under a lot of stress, etc. I felt like part of that first dream relating to my brother had something to do with my stubbornness in not wanting to reach out to him and keep in touch. I feel like that if I continue being stubborn, despite the fact that I know he probably needs some emotional support, then our relationship will suffer. I just worry about what is going to happen to him.

The other thing I was wondering about was why am I having such violent & dramatic imagery in my dreams when my waking life is pretty peaceful? The only really bad thing that's happened to me is my father dying, I haven't had any first-hand experience with blood and gore like in these dreams.

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Re: More decapitation

Merana,
I'll give a detailed response later today. I do appreciate your willing to share your experiences since all dreams are learning tools. Not only for the dreamer but all of us.
Jerry

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Re: More decapitation

Merana,
First let me say again how much I appreciate your taking the time to respond and your willingness to share your experiences. The responses to my interpretations helps me understand how dreams do function as well as provide added information I did not have in the beginning that helps with better understanding of the dream. Over the years the continued conversations with dreams about the interpretation has help me in interpreting dreams as well as provide a real appreciation of Jung's theories and concepts about dreams and the unconscious psyche. I feel very comfortable in stating that using Jung and armed with enough knowledge about the dreamer most any dream can be interpreted. A good interpretation can help the dreamer focused on those emotional issues that are central to the good mental health of the dreamer. It is only a beginning for the dreamer but I have many who takes the time and makes the effort to further investigate their own psychology which in turn leads to a better understanding of the unconscious and conscious forces in their lives. Not knowing only adds to future psychological anguish. I believe in the future the interpretation of dreams will be a standard for most psychologists and clinical therapists since downs are a direct link to the unconscious. Delving into those vast regions of the deep psyche is how we learn the most about ourselves and the more we know the better we are able to heal the emotional wounds {we all have something} and discover greater paths to personal growth.


First Dream
The first dream seems to be at least partly focused on the experience you had with your brother when your father had his heart attack. Both of you were there when it happened thus a shared experience. The fact he now lives far away from you and your relationship is distant is at the same time addressed with the dream comment"I had the feeling that my brother was around but I never saw him". The room you were trying to avoid has to do with masculine aspects {your brother and father}and you have confused emotions about those experiences/relationships {I felt like I was walking in circles around this house}. The injuries you see in the dream are primarily your emotional injuries that need healing {hospital, as well as the hospital being an experience}. The decapitated head is yours, as is the jar full of blood {emotion energy}. Decapitation would symbolize not seeing clearly {emotionally}. It may also suggests you need to put your 'head' back on and confront the issues causing the emotional conflicts. When your dad died you lost the one person you felt knew best. And although that was long ago and you thought it was resolved there are still issues. That may be because of current life experiences, one of not feeling understood and two the issues having to do with masculine control. I would need to know your full life to analyze that in a proper way but they are probably linked to those teenage years when you lost your dad.

There is a statement you made with the first dream that probably needs more investigation, if in fact it is something you felt in the dream. The statement is, "My brother was also important in that first dream I had as a teenager, he was responsible for the decapitation". Is it due to the accurate description with him now as you stated? Or are there any other reasons you would feel him responsible for your 'decapitation'? This first dream seems to be focused on masculine issues, your relationship and experiences with your father and brother. It could addressing your own masculine aspects {animus} which may be a factor in your waking life as it is living in Germany and the patriarchal issues.

The fact this was a 'bad dream' suggests there are still issues to be worked out involving what we have discussed. You are at that age {beginning of mid-life} where unresolved emotional issues begin to re-introduce themselves. In the first stages of life we are so consumed with ego building issues, family/career, etc, that the underlying emotional building blocks that make us who we are are not thought of. Early experiences/influences have a broad baring on who we become and often unconsciously motivate that person. it is not until we get to mid-life that these things begin to show themselves. The unconscious forces have been there all along often affecting how we live life without us knowing it. I know that is true in my life and have seen many experiences with others where it is true also. It only makes sense since we do now know that in the early years of life we take in stimuli that is placed into the unconscious and stored. And if you wish to take it even further, the influences within the psyche, Jung's concepts of the archetypes as innate forces also play into the schemes of who we are.

Second Dream
First a word about the language of dreams.
The car accident is symbolic language representing you and your emotions. The car is you. Dreams speak primarily in a language of symbol and metaphor. the symbol of the car/you in an accident is a metaphor for an emotional experience/accident in your life. Understanding this concept of the dream language has revolutionized our understanding of dreams. If you surf the web and look at all the dream sites that offer info on dreams they all pretty much hold to this concept. Not all give credit to Jung {as they should-most do} but it is the symbolic language in dreams you find that define how they look at dreams. This is why I feel we can competently interpret dreams, knowing the language and using Jungian concepts. Jung's theories go way beyond the language of dreams with his theory of the archetypes proving the real glue that puts it all together. This is the unconscious speaking to us through our dreams. The reason is to inform us of what it is in our lives that is emotional troubling as well as those things that keep us from being emotionally whole. There is a balance to be reached where life is happy and harmonious. Few people get there because they live emotionally instead of objectively. The emotions are in control, not the true person nature meant us to be.

Dream
The first dream seemed to focus on the masculine. This dream seems to be focused on the feminine.

The car is you and the accident is an emotional accident. And it is a bad one. That suggest something deeper, an emotional conflict that you probably have yet to fully realize. The family of four would be your real family when you were a child. Four is also the number for wholeness in Jungian psyche {a recurring number often seen in dreams}. The kids survival and not the parents is suggestive of an issue to do with parents and/or parenting. We know your father died when you were a teenager. But your mother lived and was strong, on the outside. Internally it was a different story {which would be an objective suggestion}. It could be the mother not surviving is addressing you as the mother, possibly to do with outer and inner strengths. The decapitation would be the 'cut off' emotions to do with experiences with both.

Another concept about dreams that I believe to be wholly true is your dreams are about you and your emotions. If there is a 'generic' representation of a mother there are usually issues involving the mother but she, the mother, would also represent the dreamer. It is you who is on the stretcher. all that is happening within the dream applies to you {and could be addressing a true experience but not always}. It is metaphorical of your emotional being, not your mother's. It is your dream.

Death in a dream seldom symbolizes a real death. It represents something that has come to an end. A disconnect of the emotional self from the body of objective reality {body}. That's the metaphorical language of the dream describing some aspect of you, your personality and/or your life. But what are the reasons for this disconnect?

The dream may be suggestion the root is from your childhood {teen years}. Those issues we have discussed being a part of that. Passing through the scene would be a remembrance, albeit an unconscious memory. The early life experiences are controlling your life {if the car is you, and you are in the back seat, then whatever is in the front seat driving the car is unconsciously driving you}. In your waking life as it is today everything seems beautiful {Bavarian landscape would be a clue to the Germany residence you now live}. You want to help yourself, to d with these issues, but you are busy with conscious life. There is still that scared kid within, or scared kids since your deepest 'shock' experiences to do with your father also involved your brother.

There may also be elements addressing your children. Like mother like daughter and any emotional stimuli from those experiences are locked within you. You may be afraid of some trait your shared with your mother that would affect your children. It may be a fear that they too could experience an emotional decapitation in their lives. Are there experiences in your current life that could affect them in a way you fear would be negative? Being an army wife is a hard life. What type father is your husband? Are there issues with patriarchy that you feel could be a problem? Look deeper into that and determine if there are issues or if it is simply metaphorical of your life as a child and teen.

Summary
Because both dreams were 'bad' and plus the language within the dreams I sense something is coming to a 'head'. Issues that you had not given thought to before {your focus being on current life and experiences}. There does seem to be something deeper involved, something current that is now bringing back these memories. You are still very young to have these emotional issues how up {usually they come in the 40s}. Something current may be causing past issues to resurface now. If you have any ideas in your current life that you feel relative that may help in discovering those issues. Perhaps some additional info on your daily life as well as the relationship with your husband and the life of an army wife in Germany will help. Again, whatever you feel comfortable with providing. In the meantime give thought to what we have discussed and see where that leads. Often just thinking about it will bring back new memories or ideas. The important stuff is stored away, waiting to be relived in our dreams. When that happens it is usually due to either s current stimulus in the waking life or the natural order of things at mid-life is taking place [especially in the 40s and 50s}. Take your time and respond when you feel ready to.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You





Myths-Dreams-Symbols Dream Forum
Sponsored & Supported by:


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/Gifford Fence Orlando


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Dream Interpretation Orlando/Space Coast, Florida

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Re: More decapitation / possibly resolved this recurring dream

Hi Jerry,
I was thinking about these dream analyses today and thought I would post an update.
I was looking back on my journal from around this time and realized what was going on. I was having major conflicts at the time between my head and my heart-- to use some cliched words--with my relationship with my husband. It seemed to be that my heart/gut wanted to speak up about something that didn't seem right, and my head/ego wanted to keep quiet and go with the flow. I would tell myself that nothing was going on and i had nothing to worry about, but still my gut did not agree. It wasn't until I talked to some of our mutual friends recently that I realized that I was suppressing these emotions at the expense of preserving my ego to maintain a facade of being "cool." And when I finally talked to my husband about the issues, it seemed to resolve that feeling that my head and heart were at odds, and it was a relief. But it was also really scary, because once I said these things it could have changed our relationship forever, for the worse. In the past, that risk would have been too much for me to take and I might have just ignored it and suffered silently. I was willing to take the risk though because my marriage was worth it to me, even if there was a possibility that I was accelerating the ending of it.

Somehow it just clicked that this was part of why I was having those dreams. I'm still working on these issues, I mean, they're not totally gone, but at least I have an idea of how to deal with them now.

You were right to question what was going on with my relationship w/ my husband and life overseas, because that definitely played a part. I guess at the time I didn't have the perspective to see what was going on. So sometimes these dreams take years to resolve.

Anyway, I'm really thankful that you have this site.

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