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intruders nightmare hostage

Dear Jerry,

The dream saga continues. First I dreamt of a spider biting me and cobwebs, then the hospital and neck operation.

Last night there were intruders in the house. We (my family of 4) lived in a block, where there were other rooms and occupants on the same floor. I remember seeing the faces of two men, they got quite close to our bedrooms. I know, because some walls were glass and I saw the silhouettes. Anyway this image cut.

And next I remember being with those two men. I think I was taken as hostage. I remember being inside the car with one of them. Whilst the other followed an innocent man with a shovel. I saw the innocent man fall to the ground as one of the intruders hit him on the head with the shovel. The intruder then got back into the car with us. I don't know why but from his head water was gushing down as if he was the one being hit with the shovel. He kept putting towels on his head to dry it off. I then remember waiting with them in a crowd. I asked them if they were going to kill me. They said yes. I seized an opportunity and ran off into the crowd. Through different spaces inside I made my way out, running very fast, through railway tracks or a road, then down the hill into the distance. The hill was steep and I was scared. I let my body loose and the running was more of a free fall as I let myself roll down the hill hitting things in the way. I woke up after that feeling very scared.

My response to the dream is that there is a sort of a threat. The dream seems to be a warning. The free fall down the hill I can relate to as being bruised emotionally, without control.

Thanks Jerry

regards
Magdalena

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Re: intruders nightmare hostage

Magdalena,
I took the dream images and broke then down to get a outline. Then I took the outline to see what patterns and flows I could detect. Then I put that into a narrative. I went back over the narrative and the actual dream to refine what is aw within the dream images and actions. Here is the narrative.

You possess feelings of guilt. You are seeking healing and wholeness but there is a part of you that is blocking this need {complex?}. There are other aspects of your psyche this experience has affected {personality/affecting you unconsciously}. There are conflicting/opposing masculine aspects and may involve 'close' intimate relationships. You are beginning to 'see through' the barriers and seeing 'shadows' of what the unconscious contents are.

Possessing two opposing masculine tendencies and being hostage to them. This may suggest not only opposing animus qualities but one an inner masculine aspect and one an outer masculine aspect/male. This may be re-inforced by the next statement which translated: One is a part of your inner being. One has no guilt {your true self} and seeking identity, the other the reason for your guilt. The part without guilt is the natural self but feels guilt from the 'head'. This is the 'intrusion' of the guilt feelings. This guilt has been placed within you {something done to you}. The the results from the emotional wounds require you to put a restraint on your emotions. But it has changed who you are.

You are exploring within the need to let these aspects out. Exploring those already laid 'tracks' {your past}, your natural path, narrowing the space between unconscious contents to consciousness. It is a steep slope to navigate and there is self doubt. You have detached yourself from true self to avoid hidden truths {you can not be your true self}. You seek a release of these emotions but hit unconscious barriers in this attempt {you may be avoiding or repressing certain contents/experiences}.
End of Interpretation

This dream seems to be pointing to actual experiences that have not only bruised but wounded you internally/emotionally. Going back to your dream Hospital dream you talked about being hurt by many men in the past. You also stated your father was not a role figure. Often 'internal' wounds {inner masculine aspect} this dream seems to be highlighting come from early life experiences/influences. The outer masculine could be your father and those early life experiences may be influencing the relationships {perhaps even choice of men} in your life. This could be the 'complex' I noted. 'Getting close to the bedroom' in this dream could be a statement about early masculine influences {your father} and the affects it has had on your relationship with men in your adult life. You have to explore {through your dreams} these unconscious aspects {glass walls} and beginning to see the associations. You were taken hostage early in life {inadequate parenting} and it has influenced who you are today {killed/changed you}. Putting these dreams together there does seem to be a pattern. Does it fit?

If I am correct in my assumptions about these 'masculine' patterns {you father relationship affecting your animus/later life masculine relationships} the question becomes, 'how deep does the relationship with your father go?' Were there psychological abuse {as the dreams suggest}, or possibly sexual abuse? These are the deep seeded issues that will be worked through. Let me know your thoughts.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

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Re: intruders nightmare hostage

Dear Jerry,

When I first read your response early morning in bed I thought to myself wow, wow wow. I couldn't get back to sleep after that. Amazing. Thank you for looking at my dream in so much detail. I really appreciate what you do here. Gratitude to you.

Yes I do poses a lot of guilt in my heart. I am not sure why. And yes, I feel like something is blocking me. I have been in this circle or spiral for years. And this affects the relationship with my mother and other close intimate relationships.

You say two opposing masculine traits. Why did you say that and what does this mean? How can one feel guilt at the head? Does this concern thinking? Is my thinking creating guilt?

I look at my father. Damn it. I cannot remember any specific ways he would abuse me. Yes, our family was dysfunctional. The lack of parenting I would relate to my parents constant arguing as well as physical fights. I would, as a small girl get between them to try and break up their fights. There was a lot of crying. I felt responsible for stopping the fight. If I didn't they would continue and even hurt each other. Maybe that's why the guilt is there? Maybe as a child this shame impregnated itself in me. Maybe as as child I decided it must have been my fault that they argued. I do not know why now.

In regards to my father, he drank a lot. He was quiet, never spoke much. I was his daughter. My brother was the apple of my mothers eye. My father was not there for me emotionally, to speak, to comfort. He was unable to express his feelings. We didn't talk about how we, the children including my brother felt listening to their arguments. Now, as I relate to the men I have found in my life, they have been older most of the time. Quiet ones with one exception. Two, who were unable to be open about their feelings (like my father)and as a result pushed me away, that I felt rejected. That I felt their reason of pushing me away was my anxiety and a sensitive heart that wanted to be loved.

That is all. Now it seems, that I have pushed away my childhood to some parts at the back of my brain. It was very powerful then. I pushed it away. I don't think about it now. It doesn't seem important and yet it does.

Does this explain the dream and the two opposing males, the guilt etc. I do not know what I am supposed to do with this now? Am I supposed to tell my parents they screwed up my life, am I supposed to forgive them? I don't know how, I mean yes I am angry but I know they did their best. Oh...dear.

Thank you again Jerry.

Regards
Magdalena

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Re: intruders nightmare hostage

Magdalena,
Thanks for providing your personal information. I think it connects the dots of to many of the images in the dream and probable reasons you have them. As I have often said before, the best I can do {or anyone who interprets dreams} when analyzing a dream is provide a 'periphery' view, describing the outline what is in the dreamer's unconscious. The rest is left to the dreamer to put the pieces together. As Jung noted it usually take a series of dreams to uncover what are the primary conflicts within the dreamer's psyche life. I think we've uncovered mots of the central conflicts in your life.

The opposing masculine could cover several aspects. An battle within yourself opposing 'masculine' qualities, one pulling you one way, the other the opposite. Also an outer masculine tendency vs an inner emotional one. But the primary would be the relationship, or non-relationship, with your father. There would be your father on one side and the expected love and acceptance on the other {which was never received}. This would include not only the physical/emotional relationship but also the archetypal father {a deeper Jungian concept you can explore on your own}. The innate desire/need is to have a fully functional relationship with the father {and more importantly the mother} and when this is not there a 'psyche' crisis often emerges that can have an influence on later life. With the description of the type of men you normally have had relationships with {older men} you are likely unconsciously attempting to supplant older men as substitutes of the father relationship you never had. This is common motif in men, and in my own life in fact, where the son goes on a journey to find his father {psychologically as well as physically}. It is a standard motif in mythology and is a central theme in Star Wars where Luke seeks his father Darth Vader {which also addresses the archetype of the Shadow}. It may have have relevance that in your dream there were silhouettes {a kind of shadow} and not an actual shadow figure. An actual shadow figure in dreams {using Jungian concepts} would be of the same sex as the dreamer. here it was a silhouette, a shadow outline that probably was meant to be your father and mother {you have emotional conflicts with both}. The underlying message is the emotional conflict with your father relationship that never was, one that needs understanding so you can heal the emotional wounds. The first step to that healing is knowing it exists {the non-relationship with you father and its influence} and understanding its power over you. Once this is realized you can begin to remove the barriers {which can be a long and agonizing process} to what should have been and the psyche will automatically begin a healing process of its own {nature's device}.

On a personal note. This is what happened to me in my life. My father left my mother and 4 children and never was a part of our lives. The effect was devastating for all of us but we did not know or understand the 'unconscious' damage. When I discovered Campbell and Jung and began my journey to Individaution I was able to understand, and resolve the unconscious influences. They no longer have control over my life.

The Guilt
Most often the guilt that is felt is related back to childhood emotions that are left unresolved in adulthood. In short the guilt you feel is the guilt you felt as a child because you blamed yourself for you father's inattention to you. A child's psyche {the totality of who they are} is so impressionable and those early life experiences/influences are imprinted into the brain {much like the archetypes are as 'innate instructions' all animals are born with}. As an adult most emotional events can have an affect but not so much as to influence your life. It is different in a child's mind. The child you were never leaves you and the experiences from that period of life remain as unconscious influences. It is not until the person realizes these unconscious energies exist that they understand the impact they have. Your choice in men was/is influenced by the non-relationship with your father. When you choose a man to have a relationship you are {unconsciously} looking for someone to replace the father you never had. This would not be the 'motif' that was the controlling agent in your life if you had chosen men your age or younger. Instead you chose older men. See the influence?

The guilt you feel also probably has something to do with 'sensing' the men you choose to enter into relationships is wrong. Unconsciously you know this is a father replacement but consciously you are oblivious to it. The intuitive nature {another reason I am able to interpret dreams} we all possess is active unconsciously and we 'know' things that consciously is not recognized. You are, in your deepest sense, still that little girl seeking approval, love and security from your father. This is often referred to as the 'inner child' and it is. Whether those who use the term recognize the full extent of its truth, I dare say most don't. It is the inner child that is still emotionally wounded and is in need of healing. I think we've discovered who your inner child is, at least one vital aspect of who she is. Another would have to do with your mother {which is even more important for both men and women since it is the mother that we seek upon birth to provide nourishment-literally- and security-being held}. Most all of us have some type or parental issue and it is probably getting even worse since today;s children get less parental contact that ever before.

Furthermore
I've known other women who have taken this path because of unconscious stimulus {probably these experiences lending themselves to my understanding of dreams}. Often the case is the person not only chooses a man to replace her father but also chooses men with the same traits as her father. Psychologically, and often unconsciously, the person senses these traits and because the man is so much like her father makes it even more decisive to enter into a relationship with this man. But what the woman doesn't recognize is this man does have the same tendencies and if the father was abusive so will this guy. Or if the father was an alcoholic so is this guy. This is not always why a person is chosen to replace the 'absent parent' but often it goes that deep {we can look at men and say the same thing}. What has to be recognized is the unconscious patterns that are pushing the person to do something they in the end wish they hadn't. Such relationships always end up BAD.

One last thought
You state that when you look back at your father you don't remember any abuse. There probably never was any physical abuse, it was purely psychological. While psychological abuse may not be as devastating, often it can be just as bad. It is more subtle, less obvious in most instances. But it is real. One area where I tend to side more with Freud than Jung is I believe early childhood has the most profound affect on who and what we become as adults {I don't agree with Freud's theory all men possess an Oedipus complex or that sex is the only/primary determiner of our personality and actions}. Jung felt the personality development was spread over a life time and although I don't disagree with this either I do believe early childhood is the primer 'shaper' of our actions as adults. I see this in my life and see it with so many whom I have worked with in analyzing dreams. For me it 'fits', an intuitive sense I have. Anything that has to d with intuitiveness I go with.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

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Re: intruders nightmare hostage

Magdalena,
Let me make a correction to my analysis involving your choosing older men for relationships. I stated, "This would not be the 'motif' that was the controlling agent in your life if you had chosen men your age or younger."

Let me revise that and instead say it is a good possibility this is a reason you chose older men for relationships. There would need to be a complete analysis before anyone could give a final definitive answer to this. I'm not a psychologist and as I was told when in my military training about instructions {one hour class} in the learning of Judo, "you will learn just enough to hurt yourself."

I probably know more than what I learned in that judo class about this subject but even if I were a psychologist there still would be a need for a deeper examination. Your dream does point to this possibility so when you look at your relationships you can use this to gauge whether it fits.

Jerry

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Re: intruders nightmare hostage

Hi Jerry,

Thank you again. I am lost now. Your sentence rings so so true it is painful to acknowledge. Yes I have been feeling like a child in my life a lot. Demanding that love. So your sentence "You are, in your deepest sense, still that little girl seeking approval, love and security from your father". Yes that is the case :-(

Kind regards
Magdalena

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31

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