Cindy,
Journaling is an excellent way to express yourself. Putting into words what is 'within' helps you to realize and be in touch with your true self. It is also a part of the creative aspect. When we reach mid -life the question of meaning comes up {what is the meaning of life?}. I always look to Joseph Campbell's remarks {from The Power of Myth} when it comes to this question.

The mind has to do with meaning. What's the meaning of a flower. There's the Zen story about a sermon of the Buddha in which he simply lifted a flower. There was only one man who gave him a sign with his eyes that he understood what was said. Now, the Buddha himself is called "the one thus come". There's no meaning. What's the meaning of the universe? What's the meaning of a flea? It's just there. We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it's all about.

Campbell, and Jung, tell us to find true meaning in life is to look to our creative aspects. That thing in life you love doing most. Creativity is self expression. My websites are tools of self expression. As is my dream work. We are giving of ourselves when we share through creative efforts. That makes it a spiritual endeavor. Creativity is a part of the spiritual Self. And both {spirituality and creativity} are feminine aspects within the psyche.

My motto. Think psychologically, live spiritually.
As opposed to thinking emotionally, living emotionally.

Being free of what society dictates and doing what the soul desires. That is very much different from your mother. Your dream is pointing to this true self and by not following up on those influences from early life {your mother's worries about what others think} is not only breaking the cycle from those early influences but also being your true self. Hard to do in a society that is built on attachment to things and emotions. Stay the course, be yourself and doors will open where there looked to be nothing but walls.

Jerry

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