Dear Jerry,

Yes this seems right. It lines up with the main theme of my past 2-1/2 years of therapy, which is that my relationship with my mother was lacking from my earliest life -- due to issues and past losses which she herself had, not through "intentional" neglect or abuse. Even though it seems so obvious to me it is still hard for me to grasp all the ramifications of this deficient relationship in my life, the quality of the deficiency in this relationship being all-pervasive yet very subtle almost undetectable. Similar to the dream, which made me feel small and miserable when I woke up and I just wanted to forget about it and for it to go away. I'd be thinking, I should forget this, it was just a dream -- but then I'd remember that dreams are real and this dream though brief and not very dramatic had a very real quality to it. Your use of the dream's symbolism in the explanation help me to understand more about the ways in which the dream was real, for example, "being unable to say or do something." I very often struggle with feelings of powerlessness -- even though I am healthy, competent, well-educated, etc. The "weak masculine" too has come out during my therapy and goes against the self-image I had for almost all my adult life. But then too, my real life ex-husband was abusive.

I do keenly feel and understand what you interpreted as, "in what should have been aspects of aspirations, potential and wholeness there are limitations to these experiences." And also, "you are lacking in aspects to do with self worth ... although you wish you could give more of yourself you lack the ability to do so." All the more so as I get older and the hopes, aspirations, even fantasies, that kept me going when I was younger have been shown to be substanceless or evaporated like dew off the grass. But perhaps greater strength will come with knowing what is true.

Thank you for your insight and your service.

Jaime

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59/Female/Alaska

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