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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
I appreciate the detailed response. It provides insights not only to what your dream is trying to communicate but also on my analysis. I read the first paragraph and can see the correlation between the dream and my analysis. I quickly read parts of the rest of your response but have not done so in depth. I will do that tomorrow and provide a detailed response. I do want to say that this is how we discern what the dream message is about and what emotional issues are in conflict in your life. A posted dream, an analysis, a response and follow up dialog. Dreams are not the great mystery they once were and a trained analyst using Jungian concepts {I consider myself being such a person} can analyze and interpret any dream, with the help of the dreamer. Having more information about the dream from the Dream Submission Form {as opposed to having just age and gender under the old format} allows me/the dream analyst to connect the images/actions in the dream to the dreamer's personal life, as well as with the underlying energies that form/motivate the dreamer's personality and personal traits {something I could determine from having the age and gender only}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,

I can see correlations between your response, my analysis and the dream. I will comment on whole dream and your response. There are issues to do with mother as well as related issues to do with grandparents. The lack of space and privacy is evident as an issue in the dream and your life {miniature house} but other aspects that could be as important are not clear or not evident, particularly the relationship with your father {his spying on you and his snooping in your mother's things}. It could be this dream is not focused on those issues.

As a child you wished for more room and privacy. Because the home was so crowded and you lacked privacy and your own space, this has become an 'inflated' aspect/issue of your emotional life {note: this demonstrates how early life experiences follow us throughout life until/unless they are resolved psychologically}. This is a 'bigger' issue than it would have been if your early life had been different {words matter in a dream and are usually applicable in some form to your emotional self}. The glimpse of the miniature house has turned into a big house which would address the issue of wanting/needing more space as a child as well as being a 'big' house, or big issue as an adult {houses in dreams are symbolic of the dreamer-the house is the dreamer}. The experiences and effect probably has a lot to do your desire to live alone as an adult, having the space you always wanted/craved as a child/teen. Your siblings being in her house would point to shared experiences {with you} of not feeling being loved.

Let me note the beginning of a dream {see Dream Structure} usually lays out what the primary focus of the dream is about. The miniature house is how you felt as a child/teen in relationship with space/privacy and limited growth because of the restricted space and issues with parents. Later on in the dream the grandparents become a part of the dream. Their inclusion would not only point to aspects of your relationship with them but also statements about the contrast being them and your parents. Those contrasts would be a part how you feel today and how you act and react to situations in life {as with the experiences with your nieces}.

The second paragraph seems to be a commentary on aspects of the mother relationship in her trying to provide 'extra's denied by your father. This would point to emotional energies within you as an adult in. Your comments about not having children and the experiences with your siblings could be related to this part of the dream. Specifically your comment in your response, "If I had a child, I think I would have a problem with saying no because the feeling of neglect sets in" would have to do with your experiences as a child, the neglect you noted and the feelings that sets in. This also demonstrates the large impact that early life experiences/influences has on actions later in life. This is important not only because it allows us to understand how important early life experiences/influences are on the psyche but also how I approach dreams and the importance of early life. I believe every dream in some form is commenting on early life even though it may be a lesser issue in the context of the dream. All dreams have many levels and addresses more than one aspect of the dreamer's emotions. Childhood experiences/influences are most important in forming personality and personal traits in later life and those aspects that are 'out of balance' will be the topics of our dreams.

Then your grandparents appear in the dream. It was in the context with your family sitting on couches in the family room while you were in a separate room, the kitchen. Kitchens are were nourishment is prepared and your grandparents all dressed up may point to positive aspects you received from them. The dream notes your grandfather was his 'regimented' self {in uniform}. His making eye contact to you may point to the 'regimented' state of mind you possess about parent/family issues. He walked toward your mother which mother which would point to aspects in that relationship. The statement about it being your grandmother who usually smiled at you may point to the mother relationship, your grandmother being more of a mother in many ways.

You were happy to see them appear. This would be statement not only about the positive feelings you have toward them {especially opposed to how you felt about your parents} but also about traits you possess because of that relationship or you should have.

Your emotions related to your mother and not knowing where you will live in the near future may point to some sort of dependency on your mother. In the last paragraph of the dream your grandmother asked your mom what she needed help with. In dreams the interactions between other people sometimes represent interactions between you and the other person {or another person}. Your grandmother is always cleaning and ironing which may represent always cleaning up after your mother and helping in ironing things out. Would that describe your relationship with your mother in the present time? The remodeling you noted in your dream post may relate to what you will need to do in your life when your mother passes. The carpentry work may be symbolic of confronting and overcoming your obstacles related to early life and readjusting your attitude after your mother is gone. Bathrooms are where you eliminate unwanted/unneeded aspects and the kitchen cabinets would point to hidden aspects related to nourishment. Eliminating what was installed previously is not as easy as building it {if proper nourishment was installed as a child there would be no need for eliminating the bad work in childhood.

In summary I do see the dream as addressing the deeper issues of childhood. This is precipitated by recent experiences associated with your present relationship with your mother and fears of losing her. There is the need to reconcile the childhood wounds because you will be on your own without the proper tools to be in that position. It is a psychological issue that probably requires clinical help.

I still have questions about your father and his actions of spying on you and your mother. Was that merely his childish attitude or could there be more to his actions? His attraction to your development invites suspicion but could be a part of his helplessness as a person and father. Something to consider and what may be the focus of other dreams.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Thanks for the in depth analysis.

In response to always cleaning up after my mother and helping in ironing things out, she has had lots of issues with remodeling contractors or other issues I tried to help her get through. But I've had lots of issues in my life that she has helped me get through.

In response to my father's spying, I think it's related to a mental illness such as a paranoid/suspicious personality by him believing that people are always up to something or hiding something (maybe because he was always hiding something). I spent my childhood always having to defend myself against his accusations. He also has a sex addiction problem and led a double life. My mom told my sister and I that he did inappropriate things to us when we were babies, but a counselor didn't say anything when she mentioned it so she didn't do anything. Right after I graduated from high school, I overheard him talking on the phone to this woman he was having an affair with. I heard him laughing (which was odd for him) as I walked by his bedroom with the door closed so I stood and listened outside the door. He told this woman he was planning on selling our house, but my mom didn't know about it.


Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
If you will post a future dream that involves your father we may be able to delve deeper into your psyche and see if there is anything there that relates to possible very early life experiences. Dreams have many levels and always at least two interpretations/applications. The frosting instruments symbols could point to looking at things on a superficial level with the need to delve deeper in order to find the truth {frosting covers a cake and hides what is beneath}. The miniature house that needs to be larger may also point to something that is smaller in your memory and needs to be expanded. If your mother said your father did something inappropriate when you were very young {real memories in life begin at age 4-5} then there may be something hidden that needs expanded research to get at. Such occurrences/experiences could have a negative effect on your personality and attitudes in adulthood.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Thanks for the additional feedback. What kind of negative effect could this type of occurrence/experience have on one's personality and attitudes in adulthood? I don't know if I ever had a dream about my father that I remembered. I have been confused why my mom let my dad treat her or treat us the way he did. If I was her, I would have given him the silent treatment or left the room each time he accused me of something. What I really wanted her to do is stand up for me or protect me, but I know it would cause my father to have a temper tantrum. Since I was the youngest, I was the only one left in the house for him to treat this way when my siblings moved away to college.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Also, could the frosting instruments symbols pointing to looking at things on a superficial level with the need to delve deeper in order to find the truth be realted to something other than my father and it is a negative thing whatever it is?

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
To the negative effects hidden aspects/experiences could have on the psyche. In the early years of life a child senses what is not natural without knowing the actual reasons why. If there were experiences where your father did something inappropriate they could be imprinted in your psyche and have a negative effect. Usually there are related experiences later in life that would re-enforce the earlier experiences. The matter of trust could become an issue {re-enforced by your dad's awkward behavior} . We know even in the womb a child senses their outside environment. Personality and traits are basically formed by age nine and the early years are the most important since it is during those years the development of sensory takes place.

As for not having dreams about your father. It could be those memories and experiences have been pushed back into the deep unconscious. If there were 'traumatic' negative experiences during childhood the psyche could use a defensive mechanism {Freud's theory of repression} to repress the experiences. My thoughts are, if your father did inappropriate things to in your earliest years and had sexual issues, perhaps he continued these inappropriate things later in your childhood. Those negative experiences could be repressed because they are so emotionally traumatic. Of course this is only speculation and should be considered only if sometime in your adult life memories begin to surface {or in dreams} of such experiences. And they will surface if they are real, usually at midlife when physical and psychological changes are a natural part of life.

To the reasons why your mother acted as she did in the relationship. We may have to examine her life to get to those reasons. Not standing up to protect you could have their roots in her childhood. There are many possibilities to why. Plus your father having a bad temper would play into the reasons why. It would be a good idea to talk to your mother about these things if possible {her mental condition allowing}.

The frosting instruments could very well point to superficial levels that point to a need to delve deeper. Whether it involves your father or something else. Do you suspect something else?

Jerry


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

I don't suspect something else, but I was wondering if it had to be negative. I mean could something hidden ever be positive? Could a dream like this mean I'd like to research my family or recall my childhood experiences? Or does it just mean something is hidden from my earlier years that has been repressed. I guess something you feel the need to repress must be negative?

I had this strange experience with a hypnosis counselor years ago. I only saw her once and never saw any counselor again because it wasn't a good experience. I can't even remember why I saw her in the first place. She told me that my father had a nickname for me and I was calling myself by this nickname. But I felt wide awake the whole time like I wasnt hypnotized and didn't remember saying this or calling myself this name while I was talking to her so I thought she was making it up to get more sessions out of me.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
Most likely it would be negative. There would be little reason to repress positive aspects. If in fact the hypnosis did take hold and you revealed a nickname you did not remember then that would indicate there are things within your unconscious you do not remember. Both dreams and hypnosis are direct links to the unconscious. Nicknames can indicate an intimate relationship, sometimes given so to cover up something about the relationship that could be negative. Taking your father's personality and the bad relationship you had with him {and the negative attitude he took toward you} there would need to be an explanation why he would give it to you. Also, the nickname is something you don't remember which would indicate it was either repressed {along with other experiences} or you were too young to recall it {or both}.

Why did you believe the counselor may have told you something that may not have been true. You stated you felt she wanted to get more sessions out of you. Was there a reason beyond that you felt she wasn't being the professional she should have been? Was it a school counselor or an independent counselor?

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

This was an independent counselor I saw an ad for in a nonprofessional newspaper. I really didn't like her personality before she hypnotised me... if she even hypnotized me.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

I had a dream about my father last night, but it was short.



My sister and I were on couches facing each other on opposite sides of the family room watching TV while my father was sitting in the kitchen eating. In real life, my father usually watched TV from the kitchen table while he was eating so he was paying attention to what was on the TV. This was a video showcasing all the highlights of this adolescent boy's first sexual moments with girls (I can't recall if it was the same boy character or several boy characters, but it was taken from the same TV series or movie). My sister watched it intently, while I was bored or distracted. I thought the video was cheesy. I don't know why I dreamed that I wanted to remove unwanted body hair from my breasts, but my father could see me from the kitchen and I needed privacy. So, I was waiting for him to leave the kitchen. I was focused more on that than the video. I decided to cover my breasts with a bathrobe or some type of blanket to hide them from him so I could remove the hair. At this time, my father got up from the kitchen table and left the room or area. He said something before he left, but I couldn't either hear him or forgot it when I woke up. I continued removing the hair.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Disinterested is probably a better word than bored when watching the video.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
This dream seems to be focusing on the issues with your father and the attitudes you have developed from those experiences. The issue of privacy looks to be the primary issue. There could also be issues with men in general because of the relationship with your father. Personal privacy may be a part those issues as well. These attitudes need to be understood and the negatives need to be resolved because they do have motivating energies in your life. These are important issues not only because of the privacy aspects but also because they do involve foundational attitudes involving men.

Having said that there could be deeper issues that involve your father. The dream only hints that these possibilities, the robe/blanket covering your breasts possibly pointing to repressed/hidden aspects {robe/blanket covering up these issues}. The comments involving 'the highlights of this adolescent boy's first sexual moments with girls' could hint at sexual issues. But it is not clearly stated in the dream {as analyzed}.

Do you have a sister? The dream states you are facing each other on opposites sides. Are there issues where you and your sister disagree or is this purely symbolic language {if you don't have a sister}.


Here is my interpretation of the images/actions

-sister and on couches facing each other on opposing sides of family room
^^confronting shadow conflicts related to feminine aspects/finding resolution
^^opposing views with sister related to family issues
-watching tv-aspects you are currently thinking about/motivate your life
-while father was sitting in kitchen eating-emotional healing related with father/issues that are eating at you {unconsciously motivating conscious attitudes}
-video showcasing highlights of adolescent boy's first sexual moments with girls
^^aspects from past focusing on developing inner masculine attitudes toward females
^^related to real life experiences?
-sister watched intently-unconscious shadow self awareness
-while I was bored/distracted-conscious self indifferent/unaware
-video was cheesy-unpleasant past experiences
-wanted to remove unwanted body hair from breasts-bringing to consciousness aspects related to physical nourishment/bringing out unconscious mental thoughts
-father could see me from kitchen/needed privacy-developed unconscious masculine attitudes
-I needed privacy-aspects that need to be exposed/attitudes related to personal privacy
-waiting for him to leave kitchen-bringing unconscious attitudes to conscious understanding
-more focused on that than video-more focused on current developed attitudes than what caused them/earlier past experiences
-decide to cover breasts with robe/blanket to hide them from him-unconscious issues that are hidden from consciousness
-so I could remove hair-remove unconscious attitudes
-father got up from kitchen table/left room-leaving developed masculine related to needed nourishment/lacking these aspects
-he said something before he left-past experiences that left an impression

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Yes, I have a sister. She is very unforgiving about the past while I'm just trying to forgive and forget.

stats from 7-14-10 to the present