Hello, I am writing here for the first time. Please forgive me if my English isn't perfect, but it's actually not my mother tongue (I am from Europe, I currently live in Germany).
I've had a somewhat strange dream one night ago. I think that it could be significant for me because I actually dream pretty rarely and when I do, I usually don't remember my dreams afterwards.
In my dream I was walking on a beach in a foreign country (I don't know which one). In my dream it looked as if I was having a vacation, it wasn't work-related. The sea (or the ocean, I'm not sure) was on my right side, but I wasn't paying attention to it all, I was only looking at the beach and walking slowly. It was a very sunny day and there were some people on the beach, but I didn't know any of them. They didn't pay attention to me at all, they were just lying on the beach and everybody was pretty relaxed. There was something strange though: when I looked at my feet, there wasn't really any sand there. As far as I could see, there was dirt everywhere and it was kind of rotting in the sun. I thing that there were lots of worms there too and I felt pretty disgusted. I was surprised that all these people around somehow didn't notice it and were just lying in the dirt and enjoying the sun. I don't know if that's important, but then I saw an athletic black guy in front of me who was standing completely naked (with his back facing me) and who then lied down on the dirt (like everybody else). I then thought: "Does he fail to notice all this dirt either? Am I the only one who sees how dirty this whole place is?" Despite of my disgust I continued walking on and on along the "beach" and I was actually pretty relaxed. In my dream I was curious to see what comes next (after the beach) and since I was dressed and wearing my shoes, I didn't get dirty. However, I couldn't stop thinking (in my dream) about all the germs/bacteria that were growing in the dirt and the rapid decomposition in the heat (it was a hot sunny day). Then it occurred to me, that I have to keep on walking so that I could get to a more pleasant (or a more interesting) place. It was all just sightseeing to me.
I think that this dream might have something to do with the fact that I travel more recently (I do this because I sometimes get pretty bored at home on weekends). As I usually travel alone, it probably isn't surprising that I was walking alone and didn't see any familiar faces in my dream. But I'm pretty sure that there is a lot more to this dream, unfortunately I couldn't interpret it on my own. I'm quite certain that it isn't a warning of some sort, because I felt relaxed the whole time and the dream didn't disturb me. I think that it contains information which could be helpful to me in some way.
Thank you in advance for your interpretation(s) and help!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: Age: 27 / Country: Germany

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Hi Shatobrian,
A quick glance at your dream doesn't seem to offer any problems with your English. I like your reference to your native language as 'mother'. Too many look at their home country as the Fatherland or, as in the us, the Homeland. I find this striking because we all are first feminine before we take on a sexual identity {two xx chromosomes before they become fixed in gender}. I very much believe in the feminine psyche as dominate.

Anyways. First let me correct you on your belief you seldom dream. Everyone dreams every night {unless there is a medical reason that prevents it}. The problem is most people seldom don't remember their dreams. When they do remember a dream is often indicates something special or extra ordinary is happening in the dreamer's life. Dreams are therapeutic, nature's way of helping us resolve emotional conflicts. Modern science, especially psychology {and most especially Jungian psychology} has given us great insights to dreams. With the proper education and a good intuitive mind {a feminine quality} most dreams can be analyzed and properly interpreted. This is helpful to the dreamer [therapeutic} because it allows them to better understand who they are emotionally and what needs to be looked at so and what emotional conflicts need to be resolved. The unconscious always knows more about the person that does the conscious self and dreams are a direct link to the unconscious. When a person begins to take their dreams seriously they add a whole new dimension of knowledge that can heal as well as provide a more balanced and harmonious life.

I sense two aspects to the dream which is normal since all dreams do have at least two meanings or applications. One I believe has to do with what you see in this 'foreign' land which you perceive as dirty. The whole country seems to be 'rotting' or disintegrating. But if you keep traveling {which you seem to do a lot of visiting many different places} things will get better. It is all just sightseeing to you and you will find better places to visit. This could involve an observation about Germany in general but could have to do with attitudes you personally grew up with and have to do with your prejudices.

Let me elaborate on the two possibilities.

Either you and/or your family has a prejudiced outlook toward certain foreign people or places or/and the culture/country you come from does. This is the social world in which you grew up {feet/foundations}. What points to this as the 'dirty foundations' is the athletic black guy who is completely naked. This represents several things but in particular an unconscious and negative attitude that is being exposed {naked} while you travel through Germany. Is there such an attitude you grew up with in your family/country? In this case it would be the attitudes are coming to the surface and are something you need to consciously recognize and make corrections if you wish to live a healthy psychological life. Prejudices will only bring you down.

The second possibility, and the one I hope is the case, is the prejudices you see in Germany, attitudes that has its foundations {feet} from earlier times. There is a lot of problems which you see in the news about hate and prejudices in Germany with the neo-nazis {going back to Hitler}. There is still an conscious as well as unconscious prejudiced mentality in Germany toward other races {the same holds true in the US but less to do with Nazis}. Being European but not German you may have grown up with similar attitudes but you see them as being much deeper, and visual, as you travel in the country.

Which ever it is these attitudes are coming to the surface from unconscious to consciousness {beach}. There is a low opinion {worms} of either the people or the country to do with the prejudices. The questions is, are they your attitudes or are they Germany's? It is virtually impossible to know from this dream which it is since with most all dreams I can only see the periphery of the dream and not your exact experiences. I see these unconscious and dark attitudes but exactly how they fit will be left up to you. When you determine how they do fit {I am confident they do} then you can decide how to resolve the emotional attitudes and heal any emotional wounds. If there is a personal prejudice involved then that can lead to emotional conflicts in the future. if it is Germany's attitudes the dream is addressing then how to avoid that would be what the dream is focusing. Either way if you keep on walking {literally if it is Germany's attitudes and walking as a progressing attitude if it is your own} will resolve the emotional conflicts.

And there is yet another possibility. There could be a combination of the above. You may have grown up in an environment of prejudices but do not have them yourself. Traveling through Germany may have brought these unconscious attitudes of family and/or culture to your conscious mind. If you keep traveling you will leave those current involves behind as well as develop a more progressive attitude toward prejudices {traveling being a symbol for progressing}. See which fits and let me know your conclusions. There may be more we can learn from your response that will help us better understand yourself which is always important if you want to grow personally and spiritually.

Jerry

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Hello Jerry,
thank you for your quick and thorough response and for your insights. I am also glad that my English is still good, as I thought that I'm starting to forget a lot when I only need German here in my everyday life.
You are right that I've grown up in a society which is kind of prejudiced against people from other cultures and religions. But on the other hand, my fellow-countrymen are often very hospitable and friendly to visitors in my country. I guess that has a lot to do with the fact, that most of my fellow-countrymen have much respect for some nationalities and not so much for others. But you surely won't see any open hatred or true xenophobia, no matter what the situation is.
In my family this has never been an important issue at all, since we've had a whole different set of difficulties and problems to cope with (mostly financial) and these had nothing to do with foreigners / people from other cultures. We haven't had much contact with other nationalities/cultures either.
I don't believe that I am prejudiced myself and I think that I judge other people based on the way they behave and the things they do, and not based on their nationality, culture or religion. For example, I watch Asian movies (Chinese, Korean, Japanese) regularly and I really enjoy them. Moreover, I find a lot of Asian actors really nice and good looking. Or perhaps another example: I have a colleague at work who is black and I think that he's really nice, polite and hard-working: the type of person I enjoy working with. On the other hand, I have seen how repulsive some of my fellow-countrymen can be. That's why I don't think that I'm prejudiced against foreign people / cultures.
My dream has probably a lot to do with the people mentality and the society in general here in Germany. I think that most Germans are really polite and friendly, but some negative attitudes against foreigners and foreign cultures coexist here as well. I am foreigner here myself (I come originally from Eastern Europe) and luckily, I haven't felt or noticed these negative attitudes personally. This might have something to do with the fact, that you can't tell from my outer looks that I'm not German, I look visually pretty much like everybody else here. In this line of thoughts, this dream may be a reminder for me, that I have to stay aware here and keep in mind, that probably not everyone here would accept me with an open heart and mind. Thus, I have to adapt (and stay adapted) and be sensitive/well aware of other people's feelings and attitudes, in order to have an easier and uncomplicated life. Who can I trust and who can I rely on here? Who is really friendly and good and who is just polite on the surface, but actually prejudiced (also against me)? My dream may have a lot to do with these questions and my life here.
If we take these reflections one step further and put all this in the context of "the better/more pleasant place" which I was expecting to see in my dream if I keep on walking, I could probably extract the following message: if I want to be really happy and comfortable with my life and if I want to feel really at home, I may have to go live in another, more open-minded country/society or go back to my motherland and set up my future life there. (My fellow-countrymen aren't really more open-minded, but it would be nice to live in your own country again.) This would be a very difficult decision to take though (and not necessarily the right one), since Germany is the country which has offered me a better life and lots of great opportunities which didn't quite exist in my own country.
Or, probably I don't have to change the country I live in, but rather need to find the right people and environment where I really fit in.
I think that another important aspect of my dream was the fact that this walk along the dirty beach continued for quite some time and I was only expecting to see "the better/more pleasant place", but didn't actually got there. In my opinion, this might be a signal, that I shouldn't expect any rapid changes soon and that I might have to get better used to (or better adapted) to my current way of life. Or maybe it means, that it's still not the right time to change my life yet (to go to the next level) and thus I have to accept "the dirty beach" and walk further (i.e. live further) in order to reach the moment of change (when it will get better).
I would like to thank you once again for your thorough interpretation. I surely wouldn't have been able to extract so much information from my dream on my own. I totally agree, that the dreams that we remember and which "stick to our mind" (like this one) bring important insights if properly interpreted and should be taken seriously. Speaking of this, I still remember another dream that I had about two or three months ago and which is probably related to the same subject. I would be very grateful, if you help me better understand this one too.
This other dream was like some kind of an alternate reality, but a much darker one that the present. In this other "alternate reality" (in the dream) I have been living in my own country my whole life and I have never been in Germany. It was a very dark reality though, because in the dream my fellow-countrymen were very hostile to the foreigners who lived in the country and there was a lot of hatred focused especially at a large ethnic groups which had a different religion. In the dream the situation was so bad, that I even saw some people murdered (hanged) on the street because of their religion (it wasn't war though). In this dream I saw my country as some present-day equivalent of Nazi-Germany from the past, where the society perceived itself as far superior to all others. When I woke up, I was deeply surprised of my dream, because in reality, things in my country have never been even remotely that bad: there has never been any open violence against people from other religions and there are lots of foreigners who lead normal lives in my native land. In the dream however, I wasn't surprised of what I was seeing at all (even when I saw the murdered people). I surely didn't approve it, but (in the dream) I've lived in my own country my whole life and that was the "normal" life that I knew and that I was accustomed to. I didn't feel any real threat either, because I knew that as a native I'm not in any danger (my fellow-countrymen certainly wouldn't go against one of their own). I was even kind of satisfied that I can lead a normal, good life without anybody bothering me. In the dream I didn't take part in any oppressive actions against the other people/national minorities (and I surely didn't want to), but I wasn't really sympathetic to the victims either, they were all kind of distant to me and I didn't want to bring any trouble to my head by helping them anyway. So, I was just minding my own business and being sort of neutral the whole time: I didn't approve of what was going on, but I wasn't trying to stop it either and I generally kept away from it, so that I could have a calm, undisturbed life.
What do you make of this dream of mine? Can this be a sign, that I'm pretty selfish and cold and generally don't care about people who I don't know, no matter what happens to them? Or do you see that differently? I am pretty sure that this dream is in a way related to the more recent one (with the beach) which I described in my previous post.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: Age: 27 / Country: Germany

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Shatobrian,
I do appreciate your detailed response. As I stated in most dreams it is hard to determine what exactly the dream is trying to focus. All symbols can have more than one meaning and/or application. Often I see one thing within a dream and go with that meaning {see the posted dream Dream about me being kidnapped}. Your dream was not so clear and that is why I offered up more than one possibility. I saw remnants of what was there but nothing clear where I could say yea or nay to any one thing. But in the end if I can get the dreamer to look at their life and recognize something from what I provide that fits, I feel I've done my job. I believe you have supplied what was unclear in your dream.

An important factor in dream interpretation is the age of the dreamer. At the age of 27 you are still developing ideas, opinions and principles in life {an older person has already experienced this stage of life thus their dreams are often different in interpretation}. The current environment around you will be a great influence on your dreams, the therapeutic aspect of dreams attempting to help you sort through what you take in experiences you encounter. Because you are a traveler you have a better perspective than most people and that can provide a deeper sense of being. Mentally you are processing things differently than a person who has limited experiences. This is evident {for me} in your response, the fact you come across a s someone who is very aware of yourself and objective in your reasoning. that will serve you well throughout life, an objective approach as opposed to an emotional one.

I like the possibility you offered in your response about what country you wish to live and the environment you would like to be in. This reflects your 'progressive' approach {walking to get ahead}, and probably a personality trait {dreams often reveal such traits}. My sense of the dream is there was an element of oppressive mentality {neo-Nazis} that presented a conflict {dreams are about our emotional conflicts and their purpose is to help resolve them}. But the oppression may be as much about opportunities than mentalities {opportunities that let you progress in your life}. There are probably multiply reasons you are looking at in choosing a place to live. Mentalities and opportunities.

Beaches are usually symbolic of two aspects coming together {ocean and land, conscious and unconscious}. If the beach is dirty it probably indicates indicate something negative in involved. That could be a realization that you have yet to find that place you are looking for. Or as you said, "get better used to (or better adapted) to my current way of life". I think the negative in that possibility is it is not what you really want. Dreams offer insights to how you really feel and until you are able satisfy your true self there will always be a conflict. You can adapt but it is not what you really want to do. Unconsciously if not consciously you believe a better place exists.

I do want to emphasize one thing about these possibilities that needs to be considered. One mistake in life that happens all too often is we tend to look for things outside ourselves and neglect those inner things that are even more important. Although I can see where the dream is addressing the concerns about where you wish to be {it fits with where you are in life}, it would be important to look at what the 'inside' wants also. That involves the opposites of social duty vs the creative being. If you put all your emphasis on making money and neglect that thing in life you really want to do {usually to do with creativity, the muse}, you will never be completely satisfied. The spiritual aspect {beyond religious dogma} is also important {see my page Jung and Spirituality} is important to a balanced psyche. Creativity is a spiritual endeavor since we are sharing our inner most soul when we are creative. When assessing these things be aware of the inner journey. Progressing+ in that aspect is as important if not more so than the material world. Especially in later life.

I will end this post and address your other dream in another. I have already written a book and it may be easier to understand all that is being said if I make separate post on your second dream.

One last thought before I close. My working with dreams, interpreting them is the thing in life I love doing most. That and designing my websites. dream interpretation allows me to help others with emotional conflicts. My websites do that also but they are an expression of my true self. I retired last year and now instead of being indebted to social issues and responsibilities I am able to fulfill that inner world. It all has to do with meaning in life. As Joseph Campbell stated, "People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive." He goes on to say, "The mind has to do with meaning. What's the meaning of a flower. There's the Zen story about a sermon of the Buddha in which he simply lifeted a flower. There was only one man who gave him a sign with his eyes that he understood what was said. Now, the Buddha himself is called "the one thus come". There's no meaning. What's the meaning of the universe? What's the meaning of a flea? It's just there. We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it's all about.".
This is what I am speaking to when I speak of the inner journey. A whole new world, right where you sit, without having to travel anywhere.

Jerry

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Shatobrian,
You ask the question if this dream is a sign. That question is, is the dream pointing to you as a cold and selfish person, someone who generally doesn't care about people? That is easy to answer even without reading the dream. Is that the type person you are? If so, then yes the dream would be addressing those negative aspects of your personality. If no, something I believe from reading your posts is the correct answer, then the dream is about some other aspect in your life. Dreams reflect your true self. But dreams speak in a language of symbol and metaphor {symbolically a house in a dream is you, you are the house}. I will provide an interpretation and perhaps we can determine exactly what that is.

Jerry

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Shatobrian,
I believe this dream is addressing the inner aspects I mentioned in my other posts. The alternate reality is the other you, the alternate self as opposed to your outer self. these images are about you and not the people or groups in your country {other than influences the may have on who you are}. Some aspect that self is being oppressed, not being allowed to grow. It may be you have not given a lot of thought or energy in discovering this other self, it is foreign to you. It may be this type of 'thinking' is frowned upon in your country {what is considered by many in the US as New Age}, or you have not given a lot of attention to it. Jungian psychology could be considered as a part of this new movement since it looks at an individual as a vessel within oneself, as in Buddhism, Gnosticism {Christianity} and other mystical religions {Sufism of Islam and Kabbalah of Judaism}. Could it be you are so focused on the outer self you are not giving enough attention to the inner? Are you a spiritual person? Or religious {the two are not always the same}?

The other possibility, something I believe would be more in addition to rather than instead of, would have to do with your early life growing up. What was your childhood like? Beyond religion was there any part of your childhood that is repressed because of negative aspects. Or did you live in a repressive home? Because the images in your dream are not literally true then they would be entirely metaphorical and symbolic. Look at your life and determine where such an oppressive part would fit. If your life is solely focused on the material world and you have yet to discover that creative self I mentioned, it could be that.

The dream seems to be directed at aspects about yourself that is being seriously repressed. It could be your early life was so influenced by cultural aspects and religion it has limited your scope of spiritual possibilities. What is the major religion in your country. Being European its is undoubtedly patriarchal {denies the feminine aspect which is contrary to Jungian psyche}. Some are so patriarchal they are intolerant of other religions.

By the way. A murder or death in a dream does not mean a real death. It is symbolic of something that has come to, or needs to come to an end. Something has ended or needs to end. Such symbolic images are seldom literal. Hanging is often symbolic of some type of insecurity. It may be the insecurity you possess needs to end. It was done because of religion then it may have to do with the inner spiritual aspects.

The only other possibility to an alternate reality would have to do with something produced by taking drugs or a psychological illness. This would be easy to dismiss. Are you taking any type of medication that could cause weird dreams? That happens more often than it should. Strong drugs prescribed can cause such dreams, alternate to normal dreams. And they can be any type of drugs prescribed for many types of illnesses, physical or psychological.

Jerry

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Hello Jerry,
I also think that there were indeed some repressive aspects of my childhood. That had nothing to do with religion though. My parents have never been particularly religious and I myself even less so. I guess that I am more or less the type of person who relies on himself (and up to a certain degree on other people) and thus being really religious would be very impractical for me. It just doesn't make much sense in the way I see things. Moreover, I believe that when somebody really believes in God, they tend to kind of rely on receiving help from somewhere else and that makes them unable to unfold their own full potential. Believing is easy, achieving things on your own is difficult. Or simply put, in order to achieve something or to solve a problem or a difficult situation in life you either have to do it yourself (and perhaps with the assistance of other people) or be really lucky, so that the problem solves itself / seizes to exist. I don't really see a third option here. This might be a limited viewpoint, but I think that it's a lot better than being naive. Of course, everybody is free to believe in what they want and I don't mean to offend anybody who is really religious, it's just the way I see things. In my opinion, it is indeed possible that very powerful beings (gods or godlike creatures exist), but it is naive to think that they are out there to help or to assist us with our lives. Why would they do that? Would you help a worm or an insect solve one of its problems? Would you care at all what the worms and the insects "think"?

Sorry for this diversion, I would return on the topic now. The constraints in my childhood had a lot to do with the lack of freedom. I did what my parents expected me to do ("study hard and work hard"), but I often wished to have a little more fun and enjoy myself. I am pretty sure that this way of upbringing brought a lot of positive aspects and advancements in my life. That has made me an achievement-oriented, persistent and more or less successful person. But the lack of freedom was always an issue and thus I wanted to be a lot more independent and "my own boss". Consequently, that led me to putting a lot of focus on making money, since I have always believed that being well-off helps you greatly in achieving independence and freedom (the rich can do a lot that the poor cannot). I'm definitely not rich, but my finances look much better now than they used to in the past.
As I have already mentioned, I'm not a religious person. That doesn't mean that I'm not spiritual though. Focusing firmly on the material world (and on making money in particular) can definitely make you richer, but it doesn't mean that you will be happy. I am sure that a person cannot achieve real happiness if they totally neglect the non-material/the spiritual world. However, I am not quite sure what would be the best way for me to achieve spiritual ascension and a better awareness of the non-material world and values without becoming religious.
I forgot to answer your question about medication/drugs: I don't take any kind of medication, so we can rule this one out.
There was also something in your post about insecurity and the end of it (the people who were hanged in my dream). I think that you are quite right about this one. I have always been a more or less shy, introvertive (and insecure) person. I have been able to overcome this negative (and restricting) aspects of my nature only in the recent years. I'm not quite sure why I wasn't able to overcome this earlier, but it might have something to do with me gaining more independence in my private life recently, as well as having more life experience now. I would like to hear what is you view on the subject / how do you interpret this.

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Shatobrian,
Your thoughts about believing in a god so solve the problem instead of one doing it their self is pretty much how I look at the world. There is nothing magical in the world that will save anyone. If it exists it is because it is within nature and nature's intent. I do believe in the helping hands of fate where you do all you can and get to the point there seems no way forward. Then all of a sudden doors open. This is the philosophy I have been living since I discovered Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myths. It pretty much follows the law of cause and effect. What happens to you in your life is pretty much the result of what you cause to happen. That is a part of the law of Karma. What goes around comes around, you reap what you sow. Either way good deeds reward and bad deeds come back to bite you in the ass.

Your views are more new age than you may realize. To think psychologically, as I do, is considered new age by most in America. To depend on oneself is an inward journey type of attitude. The only difference is how one gets there and whether they find a spiritual identity from that. By spiritual I mean caring for all the other life forms on the planet as well as the earth itself. The earth is a sacred place, this blue/green planet in a universe of darkness and destruction. That is the mystical aspect, not created by god but by an evolutionary process that has a spiritual identity with all living things. Earth is a living organism, balanced so life can exist. We are destroying that balance. The view that we can do as we please to the planet {patriarchal} is leading us to a environmental doomsday. The reason for this attitude is economical, making money. If the sole purpose in life is to have material worth, then you are off the path and lack a spiritual identity. That creates an imbalanced psyche.

Could it be the achievement oriented attitude you possess is a part of the problem? You have a level headed approach to life, using objectivity instead of emotions. That is the correct path to living a harmonious life. But too much a focus on making money can be a problem. If it is so you can be independent that may be from trying to undo the childhood restraints placed on you by your parents. Are you still rebelling against that system? That could the reason for any insecurities. A lack of freedom as a child is being over compensated as an adult. It would be correct to be an independent person but there may be an over compensation to the point it creates an emotional conflict. Perhaps the solution is to not focus so much on money and what the mind wishes for but on those things the soul desires. That is the creative being that resides within all of us. What is your talent, besides making money? The country which you seek to live that will offer you the best opportunities may not be a country in Europe but that 'country' within yourself. This is from Joseph Campbell:

“We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about.”

If I can offer my experience the above is a truth. Until there is a realization of that inner rapture there can never be a truly harmonious life. It is a part of how nature operates. We are meant to find truths within ourselves. The earth, as a living organism {Gaia principle} depends on its own creation to survive. That principle is a part of our human evolution. Self contained we must look within ourselves. It is not that different than your view but instead of making money the focus is on the creative being, the person who gives of oneself in service of another. It is wholly spiritual.

Think about all I have provided and let me know your thoughts.

Jerry

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Hello Jerry,
sorry for answering your last post with such a delay.
I also think that our lives are largely dependent on our own actions. Unfortunately, we are not as powerful as we'd like to be and there are also the things which we cannot change, for example all these "outer" factors such as the time and the place (the environment) you live in, the things which other people do and which directly or indirectly influence your life. That's why I often tend to say that in order to have a good life and/or to be successful, you'd also need a little luck. By saying "luck" I mean the positive outcome of all these other things which you cannot control but which still influence your life nonetheless.
I totally agree with the view that in order to achieve a goal or cope with a certain problem we have to do everything that's in our power and spare no effort. However, there are still some situations (or you can call them scenarios if you like) in life when you don't win / don't succeed in the end, despite your persistence and efforts. That's probably sad, but sometimes it is exactly the case - as I said, we are not all-powerful. That's why we have to choose our goals intelligently and think of what's possible/achievable and what's not. I believe that if you combine these two approaches (setting of realistic goals and pursuing them persistently), you will likely always win. In this line of thoughts, there is a sentence from a Japanese samurai movie I once watched which I like very much: "He is neither the strongest nor the most talented fighter out there. However, he is the worst opponent we could possibly have: no matter what you do to him, he never quits and just keeps on fighting. That's why he always defeats you in the end."
I like what you have said about "the helping hands of fate". I see this in a slightly different light though: these helping hands could probably be luck coming to you at the right time when you need it, after you have put in a lot of effort (for example, a favorable development of the situation as a result of someone's actions). Or, I can very well imagine that when you work hard on solving a particular problem (or on achieving a certain goal) and when you really focus on it and explore it further and in more detail, you discover opportunities and possibilities which you did not see initially. That could be "the door" that suddenly opens.
I see your point, when you say that my achievement oriented attitude may well be a part of the problem. However, when I think of my life so far, I realize that all the really happy moments I've had were directly linked to a certain achievement, success or a victory. Of course, there are all the other "little joys" in my life as well (for example setting off on an interesting journey, reading a good book or just buying something I enjoy, etc.). But I've certainly been most happy in these few moments when I have achieved something (or succeeded in something). It doesn't necessarily have to be something large or major. It doesn't have to be very difficult either. But it must be challenging and worth achieving. It can be just as simple as finishing a challenging computer game which has put my skills to the test. It can also be something more significant (and requiring more effort and time), like qualifying for one of the very few positions available in a sought-after specialty in a university. Almost everything that looks and feels like a worthy achievement / valuable victory has the potential of making me very happy.
I agree with you that we should look at and develop the creative being inside of us. For me however, there isn't really a stand-alone activity which I can do and focus on exclusively. No matter how much I like doing a certain thing, If I do it for too long or too much (without switching to something else) I always come to the point when I get fed up with it and bored and if I then persist on doing it further, it would be more und more unpleasant. I think the key for me is in doing a number of things which I find interesting and enjoyable, without being stuck on either one of them for too long. I really enjoy variety.
If I understand you correctly, you mean that the "creative being" has a lot to do with "giving of oneself in service of another". Because of my job, I am in the position of helping others a lot (and I do it almost every day). Naturally, I am really glad to see how I helped somebody (as a result of my work/actions) and how that makes them happier. However, I put this kind of satisfaction rather in the group of the "little joys" in life, for me this feeling is not comparable to the almost intoxicating joy of achievement/personal victory. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I have much doubt and skepticism about other people and I can't be completely happy when I help somebody without knowing if they really deserve it (i.e. if they are a really good person worthy of helping). It's even worse if I have to help somebody who I don't believe to be a really good person. Then it's just work for me and no satisfaction at all. On second thoughts, there is probably another, simpler explanation for this attitude of mine: it can just be the fact that I am too selfish and only moderately enjoy doing things for other people (and helping them) - it can't be real happiness if it doesn't benefit me.
I think that a person can also achieve happiness in an emotional way, for example by being in love. That doesn't work for me though, as I am definitely the analytical and not the emotional type (you've certainly figured that out so far, after reading all I have written here).
Some years ago, I used to believe in the (distant) possibility of achieving a happy state of mind by meditation, or in other words, putting your brain in another, "happy" mode by meditating (the so called nirvana). If we say that happiness has more or less to do with the biochemistry of the brain, than it would also be possible to put your brain in such a state on its own, without actually changing or doing anything specific in actual life. That's probably what drugs do but just for a very short time and with severe consequences. I believed that meditation could be a possible way to achieving that, without any harmful side effects. However, after putting certain amounts of effort in meditating, I eventually gave it up since I could only achieve some kind of transient calmness and better focus, but not the satisfaction and the joy I was looking for. On the other hand, discontinuing the meditations could have been a mistake: sometimes I thing that I could have benefited more from this if I have kept on practicing.
So for me, I guess, the only real happiness so far remains the achievement-/success-related. And actually, it isn't just this moment directly after achieving something. The moment of discovering new, exciting opportunities and setting my goals (and making plans how to achieve them) can also be very thrilling for me.
I would be glad to read your opinion and thoughts on all this.

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Shatobrian,
Give me a couple of days to assess your long response.

Jerry

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Shatobrian,
It is true that there are so many factors that influence our individual lives. But the biggest is ourselves and by working on that you eliminate your greatest obstacles. It is not what other people do to us, it is what we do to cause other people to do things and putting ourselves in those positions that negatively affect us. The task, and it is a tough and long road to follow, is to take control of every aspect of your life as possible. And in particular the emotional life. When you leave objective thinking and live on pure emotions, as mots people do, you no longer control events around you. It is in the laws of karma that we achieve control. It is natural law that prevails over all else. that and the discipline that is needed to live by these laws. Experience teaches you this and experience is wisdom.

I don't believe in luck, nor do I believe fate has a lot to do with things. There are energies within nature that conform with actions and our individual actions must conform with the natural laws {karma}. When this is done then fate shows itself at the appropriate times. It is not luck, it is putting ourselves in a position of being in accord with the natural laws. Carl Jung wrote, "When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate." This means it is the unresolved emotions that influence what happens around us because those energies project themselves to those around us {projection}. Once we resolve the emotional conflicts we no longer project them outward, thus what would be considered bad luck does not occur. There is no luck at all because nothing happens. That is the best position to be in, where nothing bad happens. Actually nothing is happening other than just being in the spot where we sit at this very moment. The laws of cause and effect have no energies other than the breath we take and the space we inhabit. Of course we can't live life in one spot but we can live life in accord to the natural laws, putting ourselves in a position of accord.

Achievements are a measure of our outer selves. And we can not live without progressing. But the problem becomes what achievements are the true measure of happiness. We are script by society to think achievement is measure by material worth. After time, and this starts to take hold at mid-life {mid-life crazies/crisis} we begin to realize something isn't right, all the material worth we have accumulated doesn't satisfy. We either continue to live 'inauthentic lives' or we seek something else. That something else is the only alternative there is and it is to look inward. What we find there is our passions, those things that give 'meaning to life'. It is what Joseph Campbell called 'following your bliss'.

Campbell put it this way.
Following one's bliss, it isn't merely a matter of doing whatever you like, and certainly not doing simply as you are told. It is a matter of identifying that pursuit which you are truly passionate about and attempting to give yourself absolutely to it. In so doing, you will find your fullest potential and serve your community to the greatest possible extent.

Campbell: "If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are -- if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time."

This is the inward turn and if it is not realized and followed early in life {see Lindsey's dream post reoccurring place? but not dream? then it will revisit you at mid-life. Personally I have always had a n interest in psychology but due to life's circumstances I didn't realize my passion of working with dreams and web design until I was 42. i have been with it ever since and what we are doing now, this conversation, is a product of my bliss, and your interest.

"If I do it for too long or too much (without switching to something else) I always come to the point when I get fed up with it and bored and if I then persist on doing it further."

You have to discover what it is you really love most. That is a part of the
journey. The biggest obstacle is one's own emotional self. that is what we are dealing with by analyzing your dreams. the second biggest is social duty, doing what society and other people want {family, following friends, giving into the material world}. Our vision is so narrow due to the limitations we have placed on ourselves due to social obligations. That path is strictly 'outward' and leaves little room for self introspection. But at mid-life the introspection occurs naturally and we are given a second chance. At your age you can either wait another 15-20 years or you can cast off the ties that bind you to a limited view and find your bliss. That requires discipline and when you get bored and seek something other than what is waiting for you 'within', you merely replace your boredom with something else that will become boring.

The creative self is a natural order of giving from the soul. You can have a job that gives to people all the time but if it is not your bliss you are not on your true path. The artist paints from the soul and when someone looks at a piece of art and 'sees' it is a sharing on emotions. Those are healing emotions from one soul to another. I provide interpretations to other people's dream because it is my passion and by doing this I serve others. It is the natural intent that comes with the passion that is meaningful for you and those you serve by giving from the soul. If you do it because it is merely your job you will get 'bored' and either leave the job or not do it very well. You end up nether serving yourself or others.

The skepticism you have toward others is an emotional issue, one that your dreams are trying to help you resolve. If you want to understand why you have this skepticism and it is vital that you do, then you either get a psychologist to help you or you do it yourself {that is what Iv'e done through Jung's Individuation Process. Either way the foundations for how you feel are from early life experiences and influences. Like everything else there is a reason for your emotions and by working with dreams you are delving into the unconscious where all that you 'really' are resides. The skepticism you have toward other people is mots likely due to skepticism you have about yourself. Discover what those are and you will remove much of how you feel about other people {even though much of the skepticism you feel is probably well founded you still need to learn what you are all about}.

Meditation comes in different forms. I actually meditate when I do my physical fitness routine. I'm meditating when I am working with dreams and/or designing a webpage. The meditation you are thinking of is learning 'not to think' and unless you have learned to remove all the stimulus from the outside you will never be able to be in this 'inside' world of yoga meditation. Your problem is a 'thinking' problem {as it is with most people}. That is why it is important to find your bliss so you can meditate on that. Once you discover your bliss and start a regimentation of following that path you will find it a lot easier to do yoga meditation. You have to condition yourself to look inward.

"So for me, I guess, the only real happiness so far remains the achievement-/success-related."
If you continue down that path you will always live a boring life. On the other hand if you find your bliss, well we talked about that. How do you find your bliss? What is it that you love doing most, that thing that stirs passion within you? Discover that and work toward that end and you will find meaning in life and the boredom will forever disappear. But you will have to 'slay a lot of social dragons' and with your mind set that will be a challenge. But I was in that position the first 42 years of my life before I happened upon Joseph Campbell {fate of the Synchronicity}. You have a 15 year head start to discover your passion. If my words help you toward that then I have accomplished my goal to help others. This is how it works. Once you discover your bliss you are to share those 'secrets' with others so they to can find wholeness. It is all a part of the hero journey {Campbell's Monomyth}. Everyone can qualify but only a few succeed.

Jerry

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Hello Jerry,
thank you for your detailed answer. Though I don't completely agree with all your points, you have certainly provided something important for me to think on. I don't want to rush my thoughts now; I guess it would be better to analyze all this in the following days, so that I have a clearer picture of my personal situation now. You will hear from me again soon. Thanks again that you really take the time to answer me in such detail, I definitely appreciate it.

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Shatobrian,
Take your time and read the links I provided. Although we all have to make 'wise' choices in life the one thing that provides the most wisdom is experience. The links I provided are from 'sages' who have experienced the realities of life. Much of what they talk about is not known by most because it involves thinking outside the accepted 'box' and within the inner box {a box in Jungian psyche is symbolic of wholeness}. When you begin to understand what they are saying you realize their ideas are what the box is made of and not what the ego perceives {with the ego bias}. Most of it is common sense and is a part of natural law. Science is their ultimate confirmation. You get beyond concepts when you can verify. And when science is verified from experience there is little left that needs to be known.

Jerry

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